WallpaperWalk

two cards

2011-12-24T00:33:00.000-08:00

raise a few, drop them cold
bluff a bit, hold on tight
play it slow.. let them go..
you have two, i have two.

step it up, once a while
hide them good, fold them hard
read that tell, tip them well
pay for the flop, fold the river

either way, remember still
the luck lords always have their fill
and if you thought it was all about skill
you might end up losing more than nil :)

the past and the present

2011-12-24T00:23:00.000-08:00

I 've earned and squandered
I 've lived and wandered
and not one time pondered
what life would 've been - if i hadn't meandered

been a gander.. been a player..
walked the line... lived them layer
and never once in all these year
have let it seep deep past the veneer

left some square.. followed some long
lost them along.. and found some again
and it all with none some flair
for men desire what we not deserve

a penny's worth is what we are born
and a penny's worth is when we leave
and all that's gathered in the midst
is what we leave and what will live

Gather wise and gather in numbers
for memory serves only the ones touched.

the wait

2011-10-30T02:17:00.000-07:00

I used to come here often. This was the only place i could be by myself and not think about her. My Tanya. At least not all the time. We hadn't been here together. There were memories all over almost everywhere else - which painfully came back. I did not have memories of her from here. For an island as small, its tough to have spent almost seven years together and have not been everywhere. There might be a few other places, but there's something about the waves that soothes. There's something about how whatever i scribble in the sand, the waves will always make it right again.
It had been almost five years to the day. That fateful day when my world turned upside down and a part of me died along with her. She was murdered. Murdered by some mad men who thought flying a plane into a building on some random tuesday morning would somehow justify their cause. I know all about forgive and forget. I am just not there yet. They stole everything I had.

This was when I met Jane for the first time. She was walking alone along the beach, the waves receding around her feet. Quaint, vulnerable - the resemblance was striking. I had to make sure i had not turned crazy. I had to go find out if it was Tanya. As i walked closer, a million things were racing through my now wildly confused mind. It had to be her - the same radiant hair, the same almost lazy walk, the same physique. And then she turned and I saw that something was different. The facial features were almost the same too but there was something missing. I tried hard to figure out what it was as i continued pacing towards her. She had seen me walking towards her and I could see the question form on her face. I quickly apologized and told her i had mistaken her for someone else. She smiled and said "Its ok. I hope it was someone nice. You look like you 've seen a ghost!". I smiled and said it was someone really nice. And that is how our first conversation started. We talked for a long time and all through it felt like I had known her for a long time. She said the same too. And as we started back, I told her i would be back here tomorrow.
I got through work real early the next day and drove as fast as i could to the beach. I parked awkwardly and ran the length of the boardwalk to the beach. She was waiting for me. My heart raced as i ran to her and I could see the same feelings in her eyes. Life doesn't always give second chances. Especially if its true love. It had to be that. I had never felt this way with anyone else than Tanya and she seemed to be having the same feelings for me. It felt like this was meant to be. We were meant to be together. My heart brimmed with a happiness i had not felt in a long time as we kissed. As i took her beautiful face in my hands, I realized what was missing had come back to her. Happiness. I could see it in her eyes now.
Over the next few weeks, I was happier than i had ever been. We would take every possible chance to spend time with each other. But all along, a feeling of guilt was growing in me. I had to tell her about Tanya and how similar they both were. I knew it would be trouble - but i had to tell her some time. We were at dinner at Aureole. She wore this stunning black dress with a turquoise pendant on a simple chain and matching earrings. She was gorgeous. And all i could think of was how stunningly similar she looked to Tanya. I confessed. I told her about how i had lost Tanya on the September 11th. How I had come to the beach because that was the only place i did not have memories of her. How i had run to her the day we met, thinking i had seen Tanya.
I could see the grief grow in her eyes. I saw the same face I saw on the beach two weeks ago. I saw the tears roll down her now pale cheeks. She stood up to leave. I tried to stop her. She said 'No John. I can't.....' A long painful pause. and 'Sorry - we cannot see each other anymore.' And then she left.

I felt it again. For a second time in my life - I felt my heart ripped into two. I did not see why. I tried calling her. She wouldn't answer. I stood outside her apartment until way past midnight. She did not come out. I dragged myself back to mine. I tried to convince myself. She would not be mad at me for ever. This was special. She knew it too. How could i get to her? Tell her how special she was and that we are meant to be together. I would Email her! I opened my email. There was a new message from her. It said

"Dearest John.
This is the toughest thing i have ever had to do. But it is the best for us.
I shouldn't have walked away from you tonight. I should have told you this in person. But i don't think i will ever be able to gather the strength to do that. But, you deserve to know this.
I used to come to the beach to re-live the many evenings I spent there with Mike. My husband. He was a fireman with the New York Fire Department. I lost him the same day you lost Tanya. The beach was the only place where it felt like he was beside me. The day I saw you running towards me - I thought i saw him. He looks a lot like you. I don't know now if i love you because i see him in you or if I love 'you'.
I need some time. I need to figure this out. Please do not come to see me. Anything you say or do will not help. I need to figure this out myself. When i do, I will come and find you. I will understand if you move on.
Love,
Jane"

I have been waiting here every evening ever since.

words

2011-08-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

Overheard at the alcoholics anonymous:
"Ek zamaana tha jab hum jiya karthe the..
Woh zamaana tha jab hum piya karthe the."

The ex-philanthrope:

"Ek zamaana tha jab hum jiya karthe the..
Woh zamaana tha jab hum dhiyaa karthe the."

Masti:

"Ek zamaana tha jab hum jiya karthe the..
Woh zamaana tha jab hum liyaa karthe the."

tanhayi

2011-08-16T00:50:00.000-07:00

kuch likhne ki saazish mein..
kuch rakh dhee kaagaz pe..
naa socha kya ho jaaye..
dho shabdhon ki doori mein..
ab lag jaaye shaayad zindagi..
paar karthe ye tanhaayi..

Javed Akhtar - sublime

2011-07-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

Javed Akhtar at his best in Zindagi Na Milega Dubara (courtesy: http://www.apunkachoice.com/content/article/sid100006079-zindagi_na_milegi_dobara_shayari/)

Tu Kyun Rota Hai

Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya
Jab aansoo palkon tak aya
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya
Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai
Duniya mein yunhi hota hai
Yeh jo gehre sannaate hain
Waqt ne sabko hi baante hain
Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa
Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa
Aankh teri bekaar hi namm hai
Har pal ek naya mausam hai
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai

Pighle Neelam Sa

Pighle neelam sa behta ye sama,
neeli neeli si khamoshiyan,
na kahin hai zameen na kahin aasmaan,
sarsaraati hui tehniyaan pattiyaan,
keh raheen hai bas ek tum ho yahan,
bas main hoon, meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein,
aisi gehraiyaan, aisi tanhaiyaan, aur main... sirf main.
Apne hone par mujhko yakeen aa gaya.

Zinda Ho Tum

Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum

Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise lehron mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhiye

Jo apni aankhon mein hayraniyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum
Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum

perception

2011-07-12T00:41:00.000-07:00

crescent waves and crimson tides,

curvy roads around clumsy hills..

remembrance of a land i left behind..

a cozy town by hills and caves..
lazily lies wrapped in green and blue..
this, I see, through all that's changed ..
hidden behind busy lanes and endless lines..

And then it dawns unto me. life and people around me are what they are ..as i see them to be. The more good I see in people, the better they become. The better I think life is, the better it is. Simply said - Its all in the mind.

building bridges

2011-06-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

Some long, some short, some rickety, some strong - bridges, like human relationships, come in all shapes and sizes. complicated as they are, its not ever easy to build them right. But its been done - and people have learnt to do so - some from mistakes and missteps and some from pure brilliance of foresight and carefulness.

From experience, I have learnt that the ones that are the strongest and last the most aren't so because they have been built well in the first place - but also that there is constant work involved in keeping them intact. It is the same with relationships - you need to make the effort and constantly so to keep them intact.

My better half told me that its not about making more friends - but its about spending the time on the few that you already have - that makes you happier. She, as in most cases, is right :)

It's a lonely place - this home away from home - and I guess the place we call home wouldn't be any better too - if there weren't people/friends to share with. I think there is solace in family, but social animals that we are - there's always the want for more. I have been lucky enough to find a good group to work with. Considering that I spend atleast a third of my weekday at work - its actually super nice that its the way it is.

Baarishein

2011-06-20T00:12:00.000-07:00

Baarishein baarishein...
barse aaj .. ashq bhanke boondhein...
tarse aaj phir.. rooh tere aah mein...
bheege aaj phir... naina tere raah mein..

sochoo milke kyu hueh hum judhaa

tha nahee kehna mujhe alvidaa...
tum gaye tho tham gaye ..

yahee hothe ghum gaye..

ab dho saawan ho chale..
abh tho hat jaa ei baadhalein..
hone dho phir subhaan..
khilne dho phir aasmaan...

two left feet..

2011-04-24T02:49:00.000-07:00

two steps right and a swoon backwards,

slow her down.. drive her wild..
walk with her .. a thousand miles..

two steps left and a swoon forward..
wait for her ..end of the aisle..
make her yours for life's long line..

stretch them arms wide..
hug them tight..
they are yours ..all yours..

dance your dance.,.. ride that tune..
waltz the line..
life's best danced.. hand in hand

boys of men

2011-04-13T23:04:00.000-07:00

'A boy who won't stand up for himself becomes a man who can't stand for anything.' - Khaled Hosseini - The Kite Runner.
These words keep ringing back in my thoughts.. and I shudder every time they do. Expectations are an evil lot - they bring with them their weight in stone and tie themselves around your ankles even before the race begins. I ran away once, and have been running ever since - or so it seems. I wasn't much over eleven then, but then you needn't be. People apparently remember and do remind.

It was one of those things that changed me - I think - at least it started to. It changed me into a listener. I used to talk - talk like there was no tomorrow. I could sit twenty people around me and tell them stories on the fly - I could make them up and keep them interested. I stutter now. I talk slow. I am the guy who eats his words. In my brain a thousand thoughts go unsaid every day - and there has been a conversation where I could have said them and they would not have been out of place. But they fade away, into where they came from - a dejected lot.

'Open books' are an ill informed lot. In an ideal non-judging world they could make sense. But that world never existed. There's a few ways to dealing with it though - one of them is from another of Khaled's lines - another mis represented lot - 'A man who has no conscience, no goodness - does not suffer'. Basically it means, a man who does not care does not suffer - as in if I don't give a damn - I don't lose a dime. This is so because goodness is a relative term. As Dickens would put it 'We forge the chains we wear in life'. It is time to understand that breaking free is an act done unto self and needs no hands of help.

I

2011-04-10T03:31:00.000-07:00

"The world does not revolve around you"... in fact - it does not even rotate around you.. unless of course .. you are at the axis.. and mind you... the axis is a darn cold place to be at...

btw.. if its any consolation at all... the moon does revolve around you.. but the last time i checked there wasn't anything worth bringing back from there... all the Americans could get from there after travelling ~380000kms ... was some rocks and dust.. so.. you know.. go dance your little dance..

WINE

2011-02-17T01:40:00.000-08:00

Is wine the answer? hmm.. gotta think this through.

I am not a big fan of cold drinks. It makes my nose stuffy and what not. I have had more trouble with stuffy noses than hangovers. You can tell, seeing that i order my pearl drinks hot. So - beer is out of question. Can't have warm beer - it just doesn't sound right. half my heart stopped working after hearing that :(

The congnac's and the lot - am not there yet. And somehow, I don't see myself holding up a glass and saying 'aap, mein, aur bagpiper'. So can't do that.

Not a big fan of shots. basically don't want to be drunk. Just want to have a drink.

margarita's - cant do them warm. If you know otherwise - let me know.

The only thing - i know of, besides sake that can be worth taking in a glass at room temp or above is wine. Wine [not the latter part of divine "entha tagithe antha balam" as Brahmi would put it] - my savior.. my lone friend who makes me a better person -- Face it, you are a better person when you are half drunk. They should make that a rule or something - Everyone should have a glass of red wine for breakfast. Now the wineries should give me a case of their best reds for saying that.. and i mean once every month :)

Jumping Jack

2011-02-05T09:50:00.000-08:00

The gates were closed. The watchman was his usual self. Nothing would budge him to let you pass through. He knew how to get through though. There were other ways to get through. It was a short wall - easy to climb. But the fall was longer. Not to worry. He had done this a thousand times before!

The bag was heavy. It would have to go first. He threw it over. The wall had turned green with moss. He made sure not to taint his clothes as he jumped over. It would show on his whites. Wouldnt be nice to get caught. He had been caught before. Hadn't been a nice experience. He landed softly.

There was a short alley right behind the first building. That was the fun part. No one would be there and if there were - it would be the 'sick' ones in the rooms whose windows opened to the alley. He knew the regular ones and they him. There would be a sheepish smile or two at most. But at the end of this alley lay the open end.

The open end. where the best of them had been caught. He knew this well. It had to be quick and timed to perfection. One quick sprint and you could hide for a second or two behind the two shacks that were in the open end. But he could not stay there long. Its not good manners. And then the gathering was right across with only the second building between them and there were windows here too. PT would be making his rounds and it would not be too much fun caught loitering around the ladies loo :) One more quick sprint.

His back was to the building now. He could hear them singing. He inched towards the window to his room. He made a few quick glances in. No one. He shoved the backpack in through the window. It fell on the floor next to his desk. mission one accomplished! Now he could use a few excuses if caught. They wouldn't be too clever or anything. Which is why they worked. One more sprint and he was at the corner. The whole gathering stood before him right across the corner. The guardians had their back to the building and the whole other lot in white faced it. He was in luck today. The chorus had just finished and were starting to walk back to their lines.

He walked briskly right towards them and made a quick left right into his room. Darn!!! He walked right into PT! The sad puppy face comes on. 'Headache sir. It is very hot outside in the assembly today. I have been studying all night for the maths test.'. Sympathy usually works. PT smiles at him and says 'It's ok. Take some rest. You will need it for the test.' and walks out. Bingo!! How wonderful it would be to be twelve again!

lost?

2011-02-03T01:53:00.000-08:00

For seasons now, of which i 've lost count, there has been an effort underway. Sometimes in the background - Sometimes the prime goal - the effort has had its influence. Unrealized or not, I think it is a prime component of each of the journey's going about. It is a deliberate effort in my case. One which i sometimes hide from others, but know to be. The effort is to redefine who i am.

Years have flown by, decades have passed, centuries have changed and i 've been in a new millennium for a decade now. But the effort seems to be have no end in sight. The funny part is despite all this, that is about the most exciting part of me to me - the hope to see the best me before i am history.

Change - the over emphasized constant - is what excites and makes me endure the mission. And i am hoping its going in the right direction. Because, as i 've noticed, you don't know you are lost until you are lost. and then there's little turning back, if any.

And so, at the broadest my waistline has ever been, and at the most there's ever been of me - I embark upon another year, another season of the search for me. I hope to make it a lot closer to understanding what i am aiming for and become a lot lighter by the year to be able to make the jump to reach where i am reaching for - come 2012. Cheers and good luck to 11 fresh months to come.

unbhole..

2010-12-21T07:07:00.000-08:00

kya paaya tu ne .. yeh keh ke mujhse..
sivaye dho shabdon ke dhoori..
hai behther kuch alfaaz... adhoori..

sunday ho yaa monday...

2010-12-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

Har Sunday ki aage hain ek Monday
Phir bhi hothe hi shaam......... jhukthe hai jaam......

Laage aisehhhh.. Laage aisehhhhh..
Jaise pinals mein ubhle sabh ande..
Jaise sirr mein paade sau dande..,
Jaise girlfriend ke bhai..sabh gunde..
Jaise test match laage one dayyyy..

Laage aisehhhh.. Laage aisehhhhh..

jaise maidaan mein udd gai dushman ki jande..
...................
...................

[TBC]

to capture...

2010-11-25T04:55:00.000-08:00

a moment and to capture it in its entirety is art. There are tools which can accomplish this - if used skillfully and what not..
I have been thinking .. searching.. trying to find reasons/finances/and a good deal to get myself a digital SLR. It is quite an investment and i am not sure i will be able to do justice to what i put in. Which is why the delay in decision. I have cameras - and quite a few of them - three iphones [i know.. but i take more pictures than i make phone calls], a sony slim camera [the trendy ones that can go in a shirt pocket], a panasonic dvd camcoder, a handheld panasonic waterproof [you heard me right.. this thing works fine under upto 5 feet of water.. tested and confirmed] handheld camcoder, a regular reel camera [i still have one.. even though i don't think i 've used it in more than 6 years] and an olympus [12x zoom 6mp]. I have a few other cellphones i don't use anymore .. [hmm.. thats for another post anyways] but lets not count those.
Now considering all this.. i shouldn't. But then - i consider myself to be pretty decent at figuring out what makes a good snap [:)] and having used a friend's dslr [nikon d40] for a few months - and now that its that friday of the year time... the desire to own one has found some fuel. I am looking at the d90's and guess will need to invest/burn as much on the glass [pro term for lenses :)] as on the camera body bringing the amount very close to 1500$.
Now.. this isn't making it easier. The article i was reading earlier said make a pros/cons list. Might as well.

Pros
-----
- could get very good at it :) i definitely seem to have the desire
- better alternative to aimlessly surfing the web
- bragging rights
- awesome pictures

Cons
-----
- bulky
- might lose interest in a few months and then??
- big investment and it's not a one time investment.. glass costs a fortune.. and the more serious you get.. the more its going to cost
- the economy isn't getting any better
- don't know how to evaluate 2nd hand options.. basically can't tell the difference between the good and the not-so
hmm.. this seems to be adding up..

back to square uno. darn them D90s.

and life goes on...

2010-11-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

Days like today make me realize the insignificance of my existence. Days where i wake up to hear someone's world break up with the loss of a dear one.. Days, I know, I will not remember as long as the ones who lost their all... Days .. i wish.. would not have happened but can't do a darn thing about... Days.. i know.. will just go on as if nothing has changed.. at least nothing significant has.

The pain passed through.. and away.. way too quickly. In another world, the pain would have stayed - i would have done something as simple as go to the person who is in pain and lend a shoulder. But this is not my world.. I am back at work within an hour. Back into the grind that dictates who i am and what i do. And I realize, who i am and what i do is so insignificant that it will not make a significant difference if i am not here tomorrow. And what am I giving up for such an insignificant thing is what makes me wonder.. what the #*%$ am i doing here.

I, like many around me, have made mine a life where whatever happens, I still do what i would have done if it hadn't happened. And then i realize - life in general is like that. It will go on .. and you can't do a darn thing about it. As far as yours and mine are concerned, the best we can do is make the most of what we have today and try to do something that will make it better - for the ones who care about us. Because, tomorrow's sun is a certainty, but only for what goes around. Not for you or me.

In words i remember 'I am sorry for the one who's gone. But i am worried for the one's who live on.'

nuts and bolts

2010-10-09T03:32:00.000-07:00

Whom do u talk to when you 'have to talk'? With whom can you be 'yourself' and not be judged or feel insecure that you would be? who can take you for what you are and still come back tomorrow feeling the same about you - even after what happens today?

People need outlets - it's a complex thing - this life. Things don't always balance out - so its tough to stay sane. Everyone needs someone who can be that 'washer' in this nut, screw, bolt combination thats life. [Screw seems like the right word for it too :)]. Someone to balance out this complex equation.
Friends unlike washer's are unfortunately tough to find/replace - especially the ones that fit well. Try hard and find the correct fit - and if you do find one... hang on for dear life. You are one of the fortunate few.

And one final piece of advice - don't screw around too much with the washers - they are a sensitive lot and are known to wear down very quickly :)

an evening to forget

2010-08-27T23:51:00.000-07:00

walked into serenity one day, and figured it was time to talk..
way too many words had been left unsaid.. in the bygone walk..
found a fallen trunk, sat myself down and piled rant on rant..
and on i went, for ages it seemed, about things i could and didn't...
she smiled all along.. listened the length and finally said..
lets walk on now..you live too much in the life past and lost...
there's beauty in these woods, of which i have read..
i 'd like to remember today for that than for words i shouldn't have heard...

the 'most things in moderation' guide

2010-08-25T04:49:00.000-07:00

Don't be vegan - be a weekday vegetarian

Two beers is plenty for most occasions.

40 hours a week - means 40 hours a week.

80 in a 60 zone is pushing it. +9 is perfect for most states.

a movie a day is more per month by a lot plus a few.

2 hours of work out per day??? WTF?? r u going to war?

roses for the lady.. everyday?? you should see dil chahta hai..

two/three/...../n timing - either you 've got to be woods or well.. are you really?? i need an autograph..

feeling wretched about watching the Indian team get pummeled?? what's new??

feeling proud about being indian - when Aamir khan says so after showing Indians being rude to visitors.. We 've got miles to go and miles to go... and so have quite a few others

saving hard to become a millionaire?? today's not going to come back.. and its okay to become one an year later than you would have.. as long as you 've had fun getting there..

almost a packet a day???... dude.. might as well finish the packet.. you don't have too many of these days left...

eating out everyday?? ghar ka kaana.. very good very good.. outside eating.. kabhi kabhi..kabhi kabhi..

dress like you own the place?? why not.. as long as you remember you don't..

sleep too much??? lucky you :)

a song about sleep

2010-07-03T05:40:00.000-07:00

and then i woke up to .. a song about sleep
about a promise i could not keep..
for voices inside me spoke.. of dreams to un-weave...
and the dreamy world i had to leave..
A new day was starting..
right before my lids.. now parting..
a smile shapes up beside me as i remember..
it was not much longer ago than last december,,
that i had thought love would as easy.. stay..
all merry..no dues to pay..
but that is now a gone by day..
i have my share to give..i know today..
i turn and look into your lovely eyes..
and i know i would wake up again..
a million times over.. just to keep that smile glowing..

music whine...

2010-07-03T00:45:00.000-07:00

Lost to music.. hmm.. lost in music.. hmm..

This is a confession of sorts.. music is lost to me..
Not that its a big deal.. but hmm.. maybe it is.. Don't get me wrong.. I love music.. i love poetry.. not the dumb lines i write.. but poetry in general.. Music as is - is out of the world for me.. there are certain songs - i could get lost in.. but what i can never fathom is the tune of music.. hmm.. the rythm.. i know.. its difficult enough for me - that i cannot explain it either..

let me try using an example.. When i dance [if u can call it that..] i lose a tune two lines into any song.. so.. there's this beat you supposedly can follow and you just need to match steps to the beat.. that whole concept is lost to me.. doesn't mean i don't enjoy the song.. but you know.. maybe its just me having two left legs.. or something of that sort.. i can never follow a beat/tune/rythm/whatever u call it.. for more than two lines in a song..
If you can understand Telugu - the word 'taalam' is lost to me.. So.. if you really need to know how bad i am at following a tune.. you should see me 'dance' or drive with me.. you would be able to see all wierd concoctions of raptures - not remotely relevant to the song i am listening to.. on the steering wheel as i tap my fingers ...

Anyways.. i was looking at this video on facebook of some white girls [racist - i know .. but that's easiest way of saying it.. and well .. i am no racist... whatever i say] singing 'dil se'.. I absolutely love the song.. but have never been able to sing the whole song or any song, for that matter or even ever play any musical instrument.. I never have been able to create or even copy anything remotely resembling music in my whole life.. which i think is - darn dumb.. i sometimes come up with songs - lyrics of my own.. and set to some tune.. most probably something i 've heard and assume that maybe i 'created'.. but two days down the line.. i can't remember it anymore.. which obviously speaks volumes of how good it was.. that i - who wrote it - don't remember it.

Thinking of it makes me think about how 30 years have been lost to not understanding something i 've been listening to for as many years.. This makes me go back to a post of a friend - about what you 'create' defines you rather than what you 'do/follow'.. I look back and look for what i 've created... I can't see anything and say.. that is it.. I am proud of having 'created' that.. it's a shame.. really..

Darn.. That was good wine. Anything that can bring out a little honesty - is good..

work and breakfast...

2010-05-15T04:37:00.000-07:00

The weather hasn't been very helpful of late. The rain doesn't always help. Especially on one of these mornings. Its going to be a long drive to work today and it does not help at all that its raining. But work is one of those things - it needs to be done and thats all there is to it.

I don't have to drive as far everyday - but today i have to. I had packed my briefcase, ironed my shirt, put a neat pair of socks next to my dress shoes and the kind yesterday night - it was going to be a long drive and i would rather start early. And being prepared helps - it always does. It has saved my rear a few times before. It must have done for you too. So thats what i am. Prepared.

Its a nice cabin i have here. It isn't too big. It sure isn't something you would see and go 'wow' about. But its nice. I don't have too many neighbors. There's the Robinsons next door.. well ... not really next door but at the end of the road. They are not loud anyways - and i like that. I can afford an apartment in the city - i really can. I get paid really well. But i like this. Its peaceful. I have lived in the city before and there's way too many ugly, insensitive, nosy people around. I am glad i moved. I have always liked being around nature. It soothes me. So you can sense the excitement when i saw this cabin for sale. The previous owners were dead and the person who acquired the property had moved to Europe and did not want some cabin in the woods. I knew i had found my place.

I have had the briefcase for a bit too. It has character. That's the only thing you would notice to be odd about my attire if you looked at me long enough. I am not too tall, not too fat, not too good looking, never overdressed, never under-dressed. I am the ordinary guy. You would see right through me unless you knew me in person. And very few people do. Today i put on a grey shirt and black trousers to go with my black shoes. I had contemplated a tie last night. Today I won't need one. I open my briefcase, make sure i have everything i need, close it and lock it.

Volvo's are exceptionally good cars. Underrated but wonderfully reliable. I drive one. I reverse the SUV into the garage when i park. It's easier when i have to drive out. I put the briefcase on the floor before the passenger seat and start driving. The cabin is at the dead end of the road -The one that starts with the Robinsons house. I have the woods behind me - the woods i love to hunt in. The woods i know every inch of - the woods that i wander around whenever i get time to. But that is another day's story.

I drive out into the rain towards the huge city that spreads out an hour ahead. An hour and a half later, I drive into the parking lot of the metro station i have parked at during the last few visits here. Its early and not many have come in yet. I have time for breakfast. I leave the briefcase in the car and head out into the city. Thats about the only thing i like about the city. There's really good breakfast places and most are open as early as can be. I have a long hearty breakfast and wait until its about time. I can see most of the people are in their offices by now. I have a good view of the building i am visiting today from here. It's about 10 in the morning and the building manager has come out for his first cigarette. I call in from a pay phone and make sure the lawyer is in his office.

I pace back to the volvo get into the front seat and make sure there isn't anyone around. I open my briefcase take out the AMT, make sure the safety's on, pull down my pants and holster it into the holder on my right thigh. I stick the silencer into the strap on the left. I pull my pants back up, take the fake id i made for the office in the building and close the briefcase and put it on the floor before the passenger seat. I get out look at my reflection in the car to make sure everything looks in place and head towards the building. I slip into the apartment block next to the building, wait to see the manager finish a cigarette and go back in, and then jump over the wall separating the buildings and land right next to the dumpster. I run across to the door left unlocked by the manager and sneak in. I head to the elevator and take it to the floor where the offices of the badge i am wearing are. I head straight to the restroom, lock it behind me and take out the AMT and fit in the silencer. I undo the safery and hold it in my trouser pocket and start walking towards the stairs with my hands in my pockets. The law office of Hendrickson L. Freid is two floors down. I take the stairs and walk up to the reception.

"Is Mr. Freid in the office?"
" Yes. Is this Mr. Kensington? You are early for your appoi......" Her head or whatever is left of it hits the chair. The AMT's, small as they are, are perfect for close range shots. I open the door to Mr. Freid's office. He looks older in person in comparison to the picture I got from my 'client' and looks perplexed that his receptionist had not announced my arrival. He falls down in a heap on the floor next to the wall - now splattered red with blood and brains. 'pretty smart ones too', I think.

I borrow a file from his desk, put the AMT in it, close his office door behind me making sure I don't leave marks, and lock the door behind me after changing the sign on the door. It now reads Frederick L. Freid L.L.C.'OUT'. I take the elevator down, walk out of the front door and head to my car. In days gone by, I would have had to worry about getting rid of the gun. Untraceable bullets are a god send. The beard, double chin and extended fake thicker eyebrows will have to wait until I get home. They will go into the fire along with the file from the lawyers office. I take the long route back home. Its fun to drive in the rain when you are not in a hurry to get somewhere.

i love these pictures

2010-05-14T00:25:00.001-07:00

this guy/gal has an eye for things.. and quite a talent with the camera..

http://thesupersnap.blogspot.com/

actually.. there's more talent around too..
http://plahvatus.blogspot.com
http://totaalselt.blogspot.com/

copy of:

2010-05-10T01:43:00.000-07:00

boy Yeats anglam lo rasindhi mana jaateya basha aina hindi lo copy kotta :)

"sona sa roshan, chanda sa mudham,
subha aur raaton ki diyon se bunke
jannat phelaatha tere kadmom ke aangan..
gareeb hoon par, hain sirf mere khwaabein..
chalna jhara sambhal ke .. hain ab mere khwaab, tere charnon ke aadeen.."

ardham kaka pothe hurt avvadhu [also hurt cheyodhu- jai gandhi].. anglam lo chaala better ga untundi...
W.B Yeats annadu >>
"Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."

imp paadha padhamulu [foot notes]: ty to K for making me aware of these lines of Yeats'.

an extension to a dream...

2010-04-30T07:57:00.001-07:00

beehive brains

2010-03-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

Have you ever woken up with your mind feeling like a beehive. There's a thousand things buzzing in there but you just cannot put anything on paper. I am there today. And yes, we have to start somewhere, so- chronological is the way to go.

the friend

2010-03-06T07:22:00.000-08:00

We had been expecting his call for a while now and were getting a little worried that he hadn't called yet. The phone rang and he said "where are you?"
Me and Su get into the car and drive towards the VTA station. We weren't sure how he had got there, but there he was - standing in the station with his back towards us. He was dressed as if he had just come from a pick-up game in the park. blue gym shorts with a blue 't' and a small backpack. I asked Su to call the dude and ask him to hop over the fence and get into the car when we pulled next to him on the other side. We had to make that u-turn and go around.
A few hours later [sure felt like a few days later] we were searching for him. The car was gone, we were following this street urchin who was leading us into what looked like an abandoned colony - all run down, in rubbles [nobody must have lived there for a hundred years]. 'I saw him wandering around here' he said, as Su put a few small notes in his hand.
As kids we had played in the torn down dutch bungalow. Those days flashed through my mind as we started going into each building trying to find him. A few hours later, we are still searching. I stop dead in my tracks. Something was crawling up my leg in my pants. Whatever it was stops too. I tear down my pants panicking, but being careful not to make it feel threatened. It's a scorpion. small, black and deadly. And then it starts flying. I panic and start running. I think one of them found Su too, he's running too. That's when we see him. He's going up the stairs leading to the building before us. He's dressed in a red robe. He turns around and says 'They don't bite.'
We are an odd group even for this run down place. One in red robes, me in my boxers with my pants at my feet and Su - hmmm.. he still looks as if he's just come in to work. He leads us to this door which looks like its taped shut. He opens the door [and surprisingly the tape moves with the door] to a huge empty hall. The place is unusually clean for what it is in between. A huge mural is on the wall facing the entrance. There's me, Su and him in the mural - as kids playing in the Dutch Bungalow.. The cat wakes me up.
I pick up the phone, find him in my favorites - call him and say "Where are you?"

mera nihaan...

2010-02-25T02:45:00.000-08:00

Itna hai kaahe jaana, bin tere din yeh soona,
Itna hai kaahe jaana, bin tere naahee jeena ..

Itna kyu tarse akhiyaan.. naa katt the mere rathiyaan...
pal bhar jo paa loo tujhko.. jeeloo usme sadiyaan sadiyaan..

suraj ki kirnom jaisi...phoolon ki surabhi jaisi..
paa kar bhi choo naa pao.. aisi hai teri zeenat..

...hmm.. inka naa valla kaadhu masteru... i sleeper...

aakali kekalu vesthunte....

2010-02-22T05:22:00.000-08:00

boil water.. add knorr soup mix ... add maggi noodles + masala in noodles pack.... add a little cheese [i prefer feta cheese..] let it boil for a bit.. mixxo mixxu... put in bowl [= optional step]... mekkufy...

and if you are me.. add pachadi for little variety...

the things we oversee...

2010-02-17T02:29:00.000-08:00

She had aspired to become a writer. She had once wanted to be better than him. But now, after three enormously unsuccessful attempts at a book, She hated even more how successful he was, how his books had sold by the millions. How he had won umpteen awards. How arrogant he was in not going to receive even one of those prestigious awards.

She had not liked him for a long time now. Actually she did not remember the last time she had liked him. Most of all, she hated his books. She hated how every other birthday of hers had started with finding one next to her pillow - neatly wrapped with a small birthday note. She hated that earlier on she had been naive enough to try and read some of them. She might have finished some of them too.. but what she remembered was how much she disliked being expected to read and maybe like them. She had moved away from him. She actually hadn't seen him in almost ten years.

'Some things never change!' - she thought, as she signed for the parcel that arrived on her 32nd Birthday. It was another book from him. She was surprised to see that this one was more like a bound draft rather than a published book. She opened it expecting the usual 'dedicated to the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world - My daughter Tanya.'

It was titled 'Autobiography of a failed Writer'. 'Such a hypocrite', she thought. She flipped to where the dedications were. 'Dedicated to my strongest critic, my ever so beautiful daughter, Tanya'. The rest of the book flew through in a few hours as she read her old man's version of his life and how he had aspired for nothing but love from his family - especially his favorite person in the whole world - his daughter Tanya. He lamented on how none of the many awards bestowed upon him mattered to him as much as a few words from her. She read on as tears rolled down her face. She broke down when she read that this was the only copy of the book and it had been written like all his other books - for only one person.

a note to myself....

2010-02-04T03:36:00.000-08:00

It isn't everyday that I come across people whom i relate to poetry. Today is one of those days - rare as they come. I have not known this person for long, but today i discovered i have not known the person at all.
I read a blog today that brought a smile to my heart. There's an innocence to the words in the blog, something i have not seen in a while now. Not everyone is lucky to live a life of such honesty and i am happy for the person. It makes me want to be like the above mentioned - makes me want to relate with others with the same honesty and beauty of an approach to life as is mentioned in the words that make the blog. The words were proof enough of the honesty of the emotions and that is what i want to aim for in life henceforth. Big promises - but deeply felt.

the original

2010-01-26T16:37:00.001-08:00

stress relief exercise routine

2010-01-25T15:09:00.000-08:00

repeat every two hours in the office... works best if done in groups.

Who's this and which movie?

2010-01-21T00:58:00.001-08:00

the better life??

2010-01-15T05:01:00.000-08:00

Two clown fish on a coral reef somewhere on the Pacific coast decided to do something different. Both set off in different directions from the reef. One of them was immediately captured by a fisherman - who gifted it to his kid. This clown fish lived to be 9 human years old in the captivity of a fish bowl - always being fed and always in company of the other few fish in the bowl.

The other clown fish, mean while, swam across the open ocean, and saw a million new things in the ocean - something it would never had seen if it had stayed at the reef. It saw the wonders of the ocean, while always running from predators and searching for food sources, and finally died on the same day as the other clown fish and became dinner to a stingray.

which of the two had a better life?

Enlightenment

2010-01-15T04:51:00.000-08:00

Fact: knowledge is infinite. Fact: Infinite is not achievable.
Implied: attaining full knowledge is impossible.
Assumption: Half-knowledge is very dangerous. [u could quote a ton of examples to make this a fact]
Implied: the world is full of dangerous minds with accidents always around the corner.

Assumption: Ignorance is bliss.
Thought: think of the possibilities ignorant minds with power could achieve in comparison to minds with half-knowledge.
bad example: Bush.

need of the hour: sleep. [fact: this is the most repeated comment on this blog]

the recluse

2009-11-13T16:10:00.000-08:00

she bares her skin in see through lace..

and dances nights away on crowded floors..

as her curls move in tune with her swaying arms..

behind closed eyes and open lips.. she thinks..

I am one of them tonight..

the recluse, her life an open book,

her soul hidden from those who care to read..

she's the girl with the sweet smile..

she's the one that was yesteryear's dream..

but tonight she dances in deep necks and short skirts..

baring all but showing nothing..

aarambh hai Prachand

2009-09-18T19:26:00.001-07:00

There's a lot of things i like about 'Gulaal' the movie. The foremost of which is the song 'Aarambh hai Prachand'. There's just something about the song - the lyrics, the way the song is sung - something that gets me all pumped up and ready to take up arms and ...hmm.. well.. pumped up might just do it.

Of late, i have been thinking of the song and what a great background song to a martial arts [swords and spears - the Rajput kind] and dance show it would make.

Consider this:

A story about a rebellion - of battle - of an army led by a warrior queen - the finishing act of which would be the queen flying like a tigress over her soldiers - her long black hair flowing, sword in hand - raised above her eyes burning, almost as red as the long tilak that adorns her forehead bringing down death to the evil king. hmm..

the attached image is the closest i could get online to what i wanted it to look like.. dude.. i need to start painting too :)

three innings and 40 overs

2009-09-18T14:15:00.000-07:00

Splitting up the 50 over game to 25 over innings might just catch up after all. It doesn't seem so long ago, that watching a 50 over game did not appear to take for ever. But its come to that - what with 20-20 becoming so hot. I think the shorter multiple innings could make the one day game a tad bit more interesting - considering we add a few more options and convert it to a 40 over a side game.

This is what i have in mind:

- It is a 40 over game - with the possibility of at most 3 innings per team. the first innnings is always a minimum of 20 overs and the other innings can be 10 or 20 overs.

- The team batting first bats at least 20 overs before the other team can bat for the first time.

- the batting team can decide to keep going after the first 20 or hand over batting to the second team.

- Once the second team bats, it has to bat for at least 20 overs and can ask the second team to bat again.

- From here on the teams can decide to take 10 over innings or finish the remaining 20 overs.

Overall, the batting team has the right to decide to keep batting or hand over batting to the other team.

- [Optional Rule] Each team has to inform the umpire at least 2 overs before a hand over. This can be overridden by a rule that says, handover's can be made at the 20 over, 30 over mark only.

Example: India vs. Pakistan

India bats for 20 overs makes 108/3

Pakistan bats for 20 overs makes 90/1

Pakistan decides to keep batting: after 30 overs the score is 180/3

Pakistan hands the batting to India: after 30 overs India are 177/5

India continues and finishes with 260/8 after 40 overs. India's batting is over.

Pakistan bats to finish at 248/7 after 40 overs.

India wins by 12 runs. [Come on: India's going to win every time i get to make up the scores.]

This format, i think, will give the captains a little more to think about and add a little bit more drama to what is becoming a boringly long monotonous one day game.

calculative to manipulative

2009-08-30T11:25:00.000-07:00

The thin line that differentiates the calculative kind to the manipulative kind seems to be fading of late. Maybe becuase there's too many crossing over. It has never been my forte, which might be why, i am sometimes amazed by how calculative people can be. And there is nothing wrong to it either. Good planning more often than not gives good results, afterall.

The first part to good 'calculativeness' [for lack of a better word] is understanding where the line is - the line that separates you from the manipulative kind. There's multiple factors to what defines the line. The first being - resources you can use. The best weapon of the calculative person is frugality. Think before you swipe seems to be the apt'est' slogan. You make the biggest step over to manipulative, once you assume the resources available include people around you. Friends, colleagues, neighbors etc. There's no worser feeling than of being manipulated by the people you consider to be your friends.

Another is the ability to control your calculativeness. The end goal to any wealth accrual plans is happiness. Make happiness a part of your calculations - a major part of your end result. Its a personal choice as to whether you want to give up a lot now to be more content later. But remember there are things you are giving up now, which will not come back. Maybe being able to buy that house a few years before you would have bought it, because you gave up spending time with your friends for a few years will feel good when you get the keys to the house. But remember, the few years lost might never come back. People move away, grow farther apart and the kind if you are not part of their daily lives.

I guess, there's a huge list in the making if i continue on. But I don't intend to go further. The point i wanted to make was, Be calculative not manipulative. And in being calculative - be so considering there's cons to it.

the art of speed photography..

2009-08-25T03:02:00.000-07:00

pedals

2009-08-25T03:01:00.000-07:00

What's your mood for the day?

2009-08-25T02:31:00.000-07:00

conversation about arguments...

2009-08-25T01:15:00.000-07:00

I prefer conversations to arguments. Maybe because i never seem to be able to win any arguments. And frankly, conversations are, more often than not, less taxing on my brain cells. For the longest time, i don't remember having an argument from which i have come out not having a bad feeling in my stomach [or the general vicinity of where it is].

I am not going to go into an analysis of why, because i have been there and it hasn't been any fun nor have i had any luck figuring it out - the result of which, i guess, is that i tend to avoid any argument. I tend to run away, change direction or find a sad confused face in my huge array of expressions to avoid them whenever possible. But there are times when, well there's no running away - the other person really cares or 'needs' to have the 'conversation'.

Those are the tough ones and every now and then one does sneak through my super tough defenses. And thats when it hurts - because there's an ego and a false sense of self defense that's been breached. I try to protect myself and it hurts even more. But thanks to my exceptionally short term memory, the effects do not last long enough for me to remember to make exactly sure not to get into another argument. And so the cycle of conversations continue until another argument surprises [for lack of a better word] me.

its a wonderful world when

2009-06-21T04:27:00.000-07:00

theres flan and more..

and no plans to ruin..

and its sunday night and sunday morn..

what lies ahead is still not born..

theres a sleeping friend.. and awake is me..

it sunday night and sunday morn..

a new day is yet to be born..

i shalth wait and see what blows..

personification [a smiley here shall be me.. on a day when time is a lil bit more fair..]

disappearing people

2009-04-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

people tend to fade away with time. Isn't it such an irony that a to-die-for friend from a few years ago isn't the same anymore - not because anything has happenned that would change anything between you - but for some physical distance which hinders you from meeting often enough to make memories to remember. The same seems to happen with enemies. If you haven't heard from your arch rival long enough - you tend to lose the bitterness.

It all comes down to me trying to disprove the saying 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer'. I believe in attaching myself to my friends [I know that doesnt sound right.. but well .. you get it] and detaching myself as far away from my enemies as possible. Fight hard in the moment but in the long run - run far away.

Take a moment and think of the people whom you haven't talked to in a while but still have memories with, you cherish. Those are the ones to keep. Renew the bonds. Its as simple as picking up your phone and dialing a number.

fifteen percent tip

2009-04-23T00:53:00.000-07:00

It was almost time for lunch. It had been a busy morning. Busy but good. The boss had called him to his office. He had been nervous. It was that day of the year. He had spent most of last year in the office. He had done well. But he was nervous.

He got the promotion. And a raise and a new office. It had been a good morning. And now it was time for lunch. He locked the computer, grabbed his keys and walked out to the parking structure all the while trying to decide between chinese and a sandwich. He got into his car and started the engine. He decided it was worth celebrating. He decided to go to the pricey italian restaurant. He had earned it.

It was a warm sunny day. Perfect for driving with the windows rolled down. He rolled them down. It was two blocks from the restaurant. The light turned red and he slowed down to a stop.

She could not have been over nine years old and she had a baby in her little hands. She was thin and pale. Almost thinner than the baby who just would not stop crying. She came to the car door with the saddest of faces and thrust the thinnest of hands towards him all the while struggling to handle the crying baby in her other hand.

It must be one of those schemes to rob people. People like him. kind people. Who would fall for the trap and give away their hard earned money. It was one of those new cars. All automatic. He pushed the button and the windows started rolling up.

you me and them

2009-04-23T00:18:00.000-07:00

I drive away from crashed cars...

I while away.. in crowded bars...

I live a life of silent greed...

I strive night and day .. an ego to feed..

I listen to my music loud..

from the world outside.. thats my shroud..

i think not for you or love..

but vie for what you 've got to give..

I count again every penny cold..

and can think of nothing but gold..

I spend a fortune to cover my naked..

not a second thought.. for the hungry soul..

I look at myself in the mirror ..

and think of the pounds to lose

but not once.. of whats within..

and how much heart i 've still to gain...

I am you my friend.. I am you and me.

rainbows in black and white

2009-04-16T00:51:00.001-07:00

distance

2009-04-15T23:57:00.000-07:00

He walked to the window and stared at the withering roses in what used to be a garden. He hadn't noticed but it had changed drastically in the past few months. He hadnt noticed. Until now. He had been busy. There had been a lot to take care of. There were the kids to take care of. She had been there for them all along. Now it was his turn to be there. Someone would have said, they are no longer kids. They have kids of their own. But then, someone would not know what she meant to them. What she meant to him.

It had been their garden. The garden that they spent so much time together in. The garden that they had built together - like everything else they had built together in the last forty five years. He wanted to make sure everything was how she wanted it to be. He took care of everything. Everything except the garden.

It had been a long 73 days. 73 days, six hours and a little over 30 minutes. He had woken up and was surprised she hadn't. She usually woke him up. He wanted to surprise her. He cleaned up made a spinach omlette, filled up a small glass with OJ and took it to the bed. Wendy, their best friend for ages, found him trying to wake her up about an hour and a half later.

He found the garden shears along with the other garden stuff and started cutting away. It was past midnight when he stopped. The neighbors had been nice. They knew. The garden was almost clean now. He would have to use the grass cutter in the morning. He did not want to disturb the neighbors with all the noise. They had been nice.

Wendy found him in the garden in the morning. It was all back to how it used to be. No roses yet - but that doesnt take too long. He was lying down in the grass. She walked up to him and heard him sobbing. His cheeks were all red and wet. She felt a tear run down her cheek. 'He will live' she thought 'now that he has cried'.

the unsaid...

2009-04-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

woke up a warrior.. broke up a fight..

drove through dull streets of little light..

dreamt up a dragon.. missed the last wagon..

for i 've slept through all that was right..

pushes and wishes.. little yellow kisses...

i 've waited on twenty odd misses..

tither.. hither... more i wither..

punch me in the dark... leave me in the park..

they will find me now.. out by the lark..

i record and play .. what cannot be true...

i record and play... every little hue..

voices have faded..

flowerOfSan

2009-04-14T23:34:00.000-07:00

the supreme - please

2009-04-14T22:12:00.000-07:00

omnipotent and omnipresent - is how most religions tend to term 'God'. Now then.. lets see what these words actually mean.

Omnipresent - being able to be present at all places at the same time. So for someone to be present at multiple places at the same time - their velocity should be infinite. Meaning they should be able to travel from one place to the other in no time at all. Here time is what defines the term omnipresent. Consider a second to be the lowest 'time' period a human being can visually percieve - i think most of us can do better - i believe ~16 times better... but either way lets assume its a second. So as long as someone can get from anywhere to anywhere within this time frame - they can be considered as omnipresent. Now to the naked eye they would be omnipresent - but lets consider we had one of those super slow motion cameras ... would that someone still be considered omnipresent?? So all someone needs to be able to do to become God is break this time barrier.

Its the same deal with being omnipotent. Time is the culprit. Lets take an example. Only the omnipotent god can split the ocean in two. Now logically speaking - splitting the ocean is taking out the water from a section of area quicker than it takes for the amount of water to get back in. Here again you just need to break that visible time barrier.

Now coming to the real question. I think it is a plausible thing that there exists extraterrestial life. Consider that there was an alien who could do all the above - would you still be worshipping the alien? Consider that there is one alien who basically is able to control all life on Planet Earth and maybe Planet Earth itself. Would you still be willing to worship this alien considering that this is no more than a science project for the alien who is one among a million others who have planets of their own.

My question, as seems to be always, is what is religion to you? What is God to you? Is it what you need to get some sense of security into your life? Someone powerful who you know will be looking after you and will forgive you for all your sins. Someone more than yourself to look after you - because that's a good feeling always. I have had that while living with my parents for a huge portion of my life. I bet most others did too. But is it worth pretending when you know you have to fend for yourself?

hmm... I should stop writing about religion. I do not want a fatwa issued against me. Afterall i am questioning people's sense of security.

The funny side of it is - For someone who is present everywhere, God's a very elusive guy. I have never run into him on my way to work or in the grocery store.

aaj ka aasmaan..

2009-04-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

kaun sahil ki hai khoj..

kya hai musafir thera bhoj..

rukh ke dekho duniya ke rangg..

dil mein bharlo thoda umang..

kal kaa kyaa... tha koi khwaab..

aaj hai shaamil... jeelo janaab!!

a capsule for religion

2009-04-04T23:04:00.000-07:00

religion. The topic of the day. This as always is my take of it and well .. its my blog... ain't it ...

What religion is - is a way of life. You either got to be really committed to the way of life [principles.. you believe in] to be die hard religious or you must be really submissive or pretty weak-kneed. Now i am not talking about the also-rans here. And there's a huge percentage of them out there. This is about the ones that are 'religious'. And there are the ones that are 'not religious'. Its these two that make or can make a difference. Because its these that the other huge chunk of also-ran's follow.

My thoughts on religion have always been 'whatever makes you sleep well at night'. Its your choice and its fine with me as long as you keep it to yourself and not try to impose the same on someone else. I don't care if you cut your ends or whatever you feel like to be part of what you believe - as long as its yours [and by yours i dont mean philosophically or whatever. Yours means physically or whatever directly is yours] that you cut. I don't plain care. Like i said - 'Whatever makes you feel cosy in your bed'.

So - why i am babbling on .. on religion. Here's why. I was at a church watching a pretty eloborate [and when i say that.. i mean eloborate in all senses of the word] and surprisingly well produced/played.. whatever.. Easter day celebration show of the story of Jesus - which got me thinking. I like the play - not for what it depicted - but for the performances and the organization. Towards the end of it - as part of the show there were a few poeple who came on stage and basically talked about how 'Jesus' had turned their lives around. They had playcards that they displayed. Something like first they would display one side of the card saying 'Addicted to meth' and then they would show the other side saying 'dependent on Jesus'. Another was 'Spent time in Jail' and 'Found Freedom in Jesus'. And i thought - "good for you guys". again like i said - 'Whatever makes you sleep well at night'. For me these are people who found solace in something - and that something happenned to be religion. Thats real good - isn't it? Nothing like a warm blanket when the night's cold.

We humans are social animals. We don't seem to feel so well alone. There's a few exceptions. But generally - Social animals. We need to have the feeling of belonging to something bigger -a bigger group - which in turn believes in something more powerful - powerful enough to protect us - do anything - everything for us. Something we can leave our worries to. And its all good. But i find it all a bit selfish. Everyone seems to be preaching that religion is all about the greater good of the people. I tend to understand it differently. Selfish. Its about following the 'path of God' to attain salvation. And what is salvation - a chance to spend the after life in paradise. Its like saving up for retirement. Which is something you are doing for yourself. Its not for the good of someone else. Its for yourself. Then why the hypocricy of saying 'Its for the good of all humankind'.

The question that came to mind is how many of these 'relgious' or 'non-religious' people would give up what they love most - if they had to make the choice for the greater good of humankind.

example: How many pastors would give up 'christianity' or how many rabbis would give up their faith - if they were given a true option that if they give up their religion no child around the world would ever have to die of hunger ever. Now that's not an impossible thing to do.. but very improbable. But well - what goes- If they were told you can make this happen and they believed that this could be made possible if they gave up their religion - would they do it?

Its like asking me - no more food ever in your life - all you can eat is this tablet every day and that will keep you alive. Its not impossible - i guess if there were such a tablet - and if the bet was sure - I might..hmm... i will do it. But the question is not about me and food. Its about religion and the 'religious'. How many of the one's that preach religion will make this choice. Will the pope give up his faith if he was given this option?

springOutOfFocus

2009-03-29T02:16:00.000-07:00

2Blue

2009-03-29T02:12:00.000-07:00

why aren't we nocturnal

2009-03-29T01:39:00.000-07:00

Come to think of it, it seems to be appropriate for human beings to be nocturnal. I am not thinking of ages ago when we were prey, and had to hide from the predators of the night in the safety of our caves... whatever.

It does make sense to turn the day around [or the night.. half full.. half empty.. who cares..]. Consider this for a moment. The proverbial eight to five work life is shifted to eight in the evening to five in the morning. Think of it. Around five or six in the morning is when i feel the sleepiest - specially on those nights that i am awake until around the time. So, its like you come home from work and go to sleep right away. I think thats about the time i am most tired and unwilling to do something. The immediate few hours after i come home from work. And what better to do than to sleep at those times. So considering you fell asleep around 6:30 or 7:00AM and you wake up around 3:00 or 3:30PM. You have roughly five hours of whatever you feel like doing and most of it is daylight time and not too warm and not too cold. Hmm... the perfect four hours before you get ready for work. Interesting?? hmm.. maybe not as much.

I actually wanted to make this feel like you would not be confined to a cube or office during the time when the sun's shining the brightest. The essense of it is, you could do a lot more stuff during the day than in the night. Either its too dark.. or too cold or too 'closed' for anything fun during the night. Sounds like the perfect time for work!

If nothing at all - you wouldnt go out for lunch and see what a wonderful day it is and not feel bad about having to go back to your cube and "work" while all the light is going wasted. It happens too often and you start thinking... hmm.. what if I was nocturnal.. I would have more daylight in my life than what i currently do.

Accountability

2009-03-19T03:39:00.001-07:00

I had my taxes done today. I paid more than a third of the money i earned as taxes. Its not a lot when compared to approximately a 4 trillion dollar bailout being paid out to failed [I was going to say 'failing' - but well we had to pay because they failed] companies, but its a lot to me. I could have got out of debt, i could have saved the bit to pay for a house [or a loan to a house] but no. I paid my taxes. And where is this money going? Its not a question. I know the answer. Its going to fund a war i do not believe we should be fighting, Its going to greedy executives and politicians who are usurping a wonderfully huge sum of profit while millions are suffering and ironically

from the suffering of the jobless, hapless millions who have been deprived of the money they were saving for retirement after putting in years of service to the America they

believed in. Its crazy and the hard part is i cant do a bit to change how things are going.

Everything is done according to the rules/laws. Its obvious - it would be the law because the people entrusted with making the laws are the ones that are feeding off the dying - [for lack of more appropriate words]. And why are they able to do this - because we did not care to question when they were slyly making the rules. Because we did not care to make sure everything that was being put to stone was being thorougly looked into - that the law makers were being watched upon. Why isnt there a limit to the greed and the greedy? because who's stopping when there's no one to stop you. What the hell were the FBI / CBI doing? They are the watch dogs - arent they. There's fraud all over washington. For christ's sake - there's fraud all over the country. Not on main street, not on 1st or 2nd street but on state street. There's no end to how tough it gets - when you are trying to get funding for something meaningful. Some child welfare program - some educational program. For christ's sake they are closing schools because there isn't money to fund them. But well - 4 trillion to dying corporations. No problemo. We will act out a few days of discussions / disagreements / and finally getting together for the good of the nation and passing the freaking bill and we will make sure there's additional clauses to make sure the damn ass rich execs get filthy rich bonuses and deny that we did not know of the existance of the clause because we did not read the freaking bill we were proposing - are you for real DODD? But schools closing, teachers losing their jobs - oh cant spare a penny. We are in an economic crisis you know. Who better to take it out on than the future generations. They arent smart enough yet to question us.

Ofcourse, we have a war to fight. Dont we? The war against terrorism. Thats very important. And yes, it has to be fought in a country that had nothing to do with the act of terrorism that

we went to war in the first case for. Its just f***ing personal. Thats just it. And yeah, any of you leechers want to make some dough off it. Please help yourself. BlackWater/XE, Raytheon, KBR,

Halliburton, Lockheed Martin, whoever the f*** if you know one bald guy who can talk to the dumbass president, its party time. Eight years and that was all was needed. Eight years ago - Clinton left the white house - impeached. Why? Because he could not keep the zipper on his pants shut. Why? becuase the country was doing way too well financially. He had overcome the hole papa bush had dug us into. There was a fight against terrorism going on then too. But a more subtle one. But no. We needed someone more simple. Someone dumb enough to f*** up. Someone dumb enough, that whoever screwed the country - he would not even know. Actually he would be lifting the skirt off the country's ass and he would not know. The dude was really dumb or he was the perfect scam artist. Either way, he had the americans fooled. Whether it was while he was being fooled is any fools guess. Either way, the effect of whatever f**up he got us into in four years could have been stifled if only. But no. They wanted more. "Fool me once, your bad. Fool me twice, *** " In his own foolish words.

So along came Katrina. And what did we do. Oh yeah, we saw it. We saw it alright. We saw the people die. We saw several lives destroyed in one way or the other. And then we saw more.

For days, those people lie in the stadium - starving, dying. Nope. And then came the rescue missions. Another payout to the bald man's bootybaggers. One real funny thing i remember is they hired a few cruise ships - paying 1250$ a room [per week] to house the houseless. The ships lay there - 80% or so empty but being paid for. While all the people there requied was some place to shelter.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/27/AR2005092701960_pf.html

And this is just one example. 200+ million dollars. for cruise ships on a rescue mission. That was plain awesome. So on and on came one government muck up after another. And the americans did not say anything significant enough to change anything. Why? because they were not feeling it. No pain seen financially. Because no one cares about the budget here. Budgets pass without a question being asked. Bills get passed without being read. Once passed, and the money is spent - no one takes a look again and sees whether the money spent was done so correctly. There isnt an audit process of sorts - it seems.

That is what is missing. Accountability. Things once done are done. Forgotten. Why is every bill that is passed not audited? So some bills are written overnight. No one has read it except the

guy who typed it maybe. Either way, the f***ing rep who is proposing doesnt even know how many pages are in the freaking thing unless he has a line in his speech about it. And the hundreds of elected asses out there. How many of them have had the time to read it. Well you could say, how can you expect someone to have read it overnight. I dont expect that. I want a read through period before the vote. If they are too lazy to read it - keep a hearing session. someone will create an audio copy of the same. There's a job. Create one to revive the economy. I know the bald guy's company will start doing this too and it will cost the american tax payer another 200 million for each of these audio recordings. What with all the training and technology that goes into an audio recording.

So that is what i want. Accountability. I want the executives who passed the laws to explain why the decision was made for each law. I want an explantion of all the bills passed during the last 10 years. I want an explantion of why the country's budget that was in surplus 8 years ago is in shambles right now. I want every tax dollar that was ineptly paid out to greedy asses paid back. There's a stimulus package. Compare current rates to what was charged. Ask why the employee from blackwater guarding food being sent troops in iraq was being paid 180K an year - while the soldier of the same rank in the army made about 1/4th of that. Let the questions flow. Make them answer. I am sure, the bald man has a lot to say. And i want to be able to hear that. Afterall, its treason and nothing less. What would you do to someone taking a bribe. If you caugt a police officer taking a bribe and letting a drug smuggler go - would you treat him the same as some of the gentlemen from washington are being treated.

There's an effective way to react. Sometimes examples have to be made to make sure some treachery of the same stature is not repeated. Now is the time for examples. And also, the country needs some cash to get out of this mess. Who better to take it from than the ones who stole it from us. Rise and shine people. Time to make the dogs pay for their crimes. They stole from you. They stole from me. They stole from America. And make sure no one in washington is auditing. There's too much of the crap going around. Assign proper investigators. Someone from the schools of education. Someone from the courts of the country. Someone who will make the right choices. Someone who will make them pay. In cash and kind.

apples and oranges

2009-01-23T01:03:00.001-08:00

can you hear the sound of my heart breaking...

can you feel the pain of my heart aching...

I just want you to know that we are losing..

the special love that once we held so closely..

I just want you to hold on tightly..

this is us - dont take this lightly [ :) .. comedy within tragedy .. wah wah..]

desh ki naari

2008-10-10T02:52:00.001-07:00

ek thi bharath desh ki naari...

khani thi unko bhel poori...

kal tha kaam koi jaroori...

sochthi aaj hai aayi baari...

oud ke lambhi saari...

kitche mein jaake hath mein li katori..

karke abh poori tayari...

aakhir mein dali usme patthi hari...

[to be continued... ]

sabh kuch mana hai...

2008-01-02T15:02:00.000-08:00

kya yaar... sabh kuch mana hai???
bottle bhar peena mana hai...
jee bhar sona mana hai...
pet bhar khana mana hai...
dil bhar dekhna mana hai... [u know what... don't u?]

raath bhar jaagna mana hai...
very late utna mana hai...
brush bina coffee mana hai..
nahaye bina breakfast mana hai...

office naa jaana mana hai..
gayatho udhar sona mana hai...
chote chote tea break mana hai...
dosthon se baathe mana hai...

login hua tho IM mana hai...
cricket score dekhna mana hai..
jaldi office se nikhalna mana hai...
ghar late aana mana hai...

beech mei ek dho beer mana hai...
ghar aaya tho tv mana hai...
monday tuesday chicken mana hai...
thurday tho poora khana mana hai...

kya yaar... sabh kuch mana hai???

paida hua tho rona mana hai...
classroom mein bolna mana hai..
baahar jaa ke khelna mana hai...
dosthon ke saath masthi mana hai...

high school aaya .. phir bhi peena mana hai..
do nahi tho... ek sahi..girlfriend mana hai..
balcony mein study mana hai...
baaju vali ladki ko ishaarein mana hai..

entrance exams do saal baad hai.. phir bhi aaj khelna mana hai..
are computers padane ke liye.. architecture mana hai..
phir bhi college jane ke liye bike mana hai...
chalo.. chodo.. bus mein gaya tho.. foot boarding mana hai..

combined study with friends [;)] .. mana hai...
phone pe baath karna bhi mana hai...
unke saath trips jaana manaa hai...
gaya tho phir paise waste karna mana hai..

are yaar... mana kar ke kar ke... kya bana diye hume..
padaa padaa ke.. ullu bana diya yaar.. :)

inspiration run

2007-12-14T15:19:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLnDwLmVIyY

bachein hai hum baarish mein
bheegein hai.. par na dil se...
kuch karne ki khayish hai..
bhatke hai par, kuch ban ne ki saazish mein..
aaon dosthon haath badao..
milke ek tho jyoth jalao..
chota hai ye..par dil na haaro..
ek ek karke.. banthe hai laakhon..

chocolate dreams....

2007-11-10T02:49:00.000-08:00

lost and to be found:

a reason.. an answer to my sleepless nights.. something that 'll tell me - bud, this is what you are.. what you are doing.. and where you are going..
I have searched and obviously in vain.. maybe i am asking the wrong questions.. maybe i am looking in the wrong places.. maybe i shouldnt be.. hmm.. all i get is more questions.. more to add to a list i do not want to revisit from the fear of exhaustion - the fear of losing myself in the depth of my ignorance.. [this must be an oxymoron]..
troubled.. maybe not.. but getting there.. I find no respite.. no satisfaction.. work is but a mundane activity.. but so is life.. actually its not always so.. there are moments.. moments that make up my entire day.. is it worth my entire day for those moments.. maybe so..
There's something about me i haven't been able to understand.. something that lurks.. in there.. It appears dark to me at times.. but maybe so because i haven't figured it out yet..

Life - as i have lived it - will not be be aptly presumed.. by many and maybe rightly so.. but then again I do not regret and maybe rightly so too.. maybe today is a lie... for a happier tomorrow.. maybe yesterday was one .. but then.. when the tomorrow comes will it be worth it..

questions all.. but sometimes again i am normal.. very normal ... i dream of a million and more.. ['dream of ' actually means wish for ] i wish for that fancy car.. fancy house and self employment.. or the not having the need for it... normal all .. and not aptly normal.

Am i searching.. when i should not be.. well.. freedom dictates the search for itself.. freedom from questions.. I crave a day when i know exactly what i want to do for the whole 24 hours.. the whole enchilada as they say... i crave for that morning when i wake up and know.. i am going to do what i want to and know i want to .... its poison.. slow as chocolate and equally enticing.....

2007-11-10T02:42:00.000-08:00

kuch hai aise geet.. jo gaa kar gham bhula dethe hai log..
kuch hai aise pal.. jo paa kar... duniya bhuladethe hai log..
kuch hai aise lamhe.. jo insaan ko badal dethe hai..

kuch paa kar kuch khona.. kuch kho kar kuch paana..
sunn pyaare... isi ka naam hai jeena...

more from the same...

2007-11-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

7:40 am - almost an ode... A long time ago..
when the grass looked green...
and the world... i had not seen..
i has no cares on my mind...
and no shackles to unwind...

A long time ago..
when i had a different hue to my voice..
when i had the luxury of choice...
i took the path untrodden...
hoping for my horizons to broaden...

a long time.. sure.. it has been...
and a lot, since have i seen...
and the question irks me yet...
on a differnet road... would we still have met...

for you are what keeps me afloat..
when nothin remains of my haute..

to b continued..... am too sleepy,.. tired... hmm.. and the excuses.. flow on...

almost a poem...

2007-11-09T10:11:00.001-08:00

I went back to see my old blogs.. couldn't leave this there to be deleted... so here it is...
almost a poem...

i came here for silence..
i came here for peace..
i have spent last evening here..
and many before ..

i feel at home here..
i feel supreme here...
the sea unfurls underneath..
and expands around my stony sheath..

i fear not its rumbling waves...
i fear not its incessant raves...
my rock stands steadfast...
unwavering to the mighty haste..

i wait here until the red one recedes..
and its color the ocean bleeds..
i remember the first time i was here...
i remember my consummating fear..

i had hoped for respite..
i had hoped i did not have to fight..
how i wanted the waves to win..
how i wanted the world not to hear me whine..

i had come here to die..
i had hoped no more to lie..
but my rock stood its ground...
ever since to it i have been bound..

it has taught me life's little art...
it has given me a new start...
i have learnt to stand and fight
even when the tunnel end has no light

for there's something on which i can rely
through life's low and high...
my little rock will stand still
and deny the ocean's will...

pal bhai jeena..

2007-09-14T00:30:00.000-07:00

deleted due to hindi weakness...

Nothing.........

2007-09-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

Life as the M

2007-08-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

*************

deleted for dumbness...

- KGB

a face behind another...

2007-08-05T01:54:00.000-07:00

And then each chose a mask to hide behind.. Mine never felt to fit all that well.. clumsy at best.. but well .. a mask's a mask and once chosen there isnt a replacement.. maybe a slight adjustment.. but not a replacement. So, behind this mask i hide.. like the one before ..the one behind and the lot..

The mask's been around.. served its purpose well so far.. people seem to accept it.. for what its worth.. its deficiencies.. its whatever.. people believed the mask was me... Only a few were allowed to see beyond.. the few whose masks i tried to look beyond just to keep the deal fair enough... or so i thought...

But then at times, the mask seems to take over.. like there isnt anything beneath [or behind ... whatever suits you.. ] like the one behind the mask wasnt all that different.. like the one in the mirror was the same as the one without the mask on.. interesting huh? And then as i try to peel away.. the pain is immense .. like pulling out a part of myself.. like tearing off a limb..

The question haunts me... do i need the pain??.. why look within trying to find a face when the mask is the perfect replacement.. when no one seems to notice.. [not even myself at times..]
Why do i need to bleed... hmm .. which face is this i see in the mirror now? Is it me?

Rowling fame..

2007-08-02T22:55:00.000-07:00

And then it ended.. almost too quickly.. and the dark lord lay there... dead to the ones around.. dead to the ones that read on... seven long books later all it took was a harmless "Expelliarmus". Simple and sweet, aint it!

And then nineteen years went by and i was almost reading something out of a soap drama of sorts. And it all ended with saying that the scar did not burn in nineteen years.. as if it was all about him.. the dark one.

Glad its over. Dissappointed??... hmm.. not really..

you get attached to things you have been doing for a while.. reminds me of the eleven year old watch on this dude... he told me he hated it for having worn it everyday.. for as long as he had had it... but the romance of if it all was that he wore it for the girl who had given it to him.. eleven long years ago...
romantic ..huh? crap.

There used to be a me ..not so long ago..or so i think.. who would have gone wow on that.. but that me is lying somewhere... dead.. maybe buried next to riddle boy..
You know what.. i am kind of liking Rowling.. hmm.. more like the way i am a fan of Indian Ocean.. I love indian ocean.. more for the purity of music and the insanity of their passion for it than their music itself.. here... more for the kids + kids aged over 20 who stood for hours at end outside barnes and nobles and the kind.. than for the words that make the books itself...

hmm.. been pretty bland.. off we go...

Two's a pair

2007-04-08T04:37:00.000-07:00

PlayTime

2007-03-31T04:55:00.000-07:00

Batman Returns...

2007-03-31T04:47:00.000-07:00

midnight Owls

2007-03-31T04:28:00.000-07:00

No. not those OWLs. I have been reading 'arry Potter, but not enough to be thinking of OWLs yet. No not the flying ones, and certainly not those on paper. Now, I 've almost forgotten what i 've wanted to write about. well. I forgot totally.

While we are at it, lets talk Euthenasia. Sarika says she's all for it. Am I? Its relative, isn't it. Whats true for one or more is not so for another or more. I think abortion, Euthenasia etc. are case by case based. Hmm.. abortion. that i would say, is a mother's choice. Hmm.. not totally though. I agree with it's her choice until about 6 months into pregnancy [Now we get technical - is 6 months and 1 day a lot different that 6 months. Nope.] The time is where the problem arises as to the discussion. When do you deem a baby [I was going to say fetus.. but well] a baby? Why 6 months?

Either way, I am all against rules. No rule, no war, no progress, no humanity. Hmm.. and why do we have to connect humanity with progress. Does not having any scientific progress make us less human? huh... now I am sleepy. I gotta sleep.

BTW, that's a misnomer. Its early morning, isn't it? Its too early in the morning and too late in my life to be asking these questions. The real question is are these valid questions? Do i really need to worry? Will I have an impact on anything at all? Now actually, thats supposed to be a plural, because as i count - thats more than one question.

wake up, wake up sunshine

2007-03-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

A philosopher died. Another woke up half way through a dream and spoke of bountiful gardens, un -reachable all.. [maybe the reason why they were so].. but bountiful still. He realized not that sleep was a transition, something that did not define itself by its longevity, but by its persistence [maybe with a 'c' - the spellcheck works]. Continuation of what you did not intend is maybe persistence, but not the persistence that defines sleep. Sleep is essential. I am deprived of the essential. But not without my own interference. I could have but did not. Now the questions linger. But, could the questions be all that keep me awake? And thats another question. isn't it? [count++]

If you think, I 've gone crazy, you are not completely off track. Insomnia does things to you. Self induced insomnia does more. I wanted to say, i woke up but if you havent slept, could you wake up? I guess, you could say you woke up but, you really did not wake up.

Interestingly sanity is persistence too. Persistence to norms. And norms are human defined. So sanity is relative, because norms are. I want to look into the minds of people, see what they think. No, I do not want to know what's personal to them. But the thought process is what intrigues me. What happens in the sad electric/magnetic/'wish i knew what i was talking about' field that controls/is your thought process is what makes mine go haywire. Science??

'some tuesday evening, at 4 pm' [baz lehurmann] the truth will blind me. I am, aged as i am, supposed to be mature. Responsible for my actions and in them too. Another norm.

Wake up, wake up. Wake up sunshine. A glass of wine.. hmm.. might take me there. nighty night.

Life's best stories...r better left untold.....

2006-12-03T10:02:00.000-08:00

2006-10-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

So True...

2006-09-29T01:03:00.000-07:00

i killed...

2006-09-28T00:29:00.000-07:00

half complete.. the oxymoron

2006-09-13T00:48:00.000-07:00

salty cheeks....

2006-09-02T03:56:00.000-07:00

Its a matter of....

2006-08-31T00:58:00.000-07:00

Stand out...

2006-08-31T00:56:00.000-07:00

nothing personal... i guess..

2006-08-30T01:26:00.000-07:00

there r layers to life.. i presume

Clarification

2006-08-18T01:39:00.000-07:00

No insult directed and hopefully none taken in regards to my dogs and women post.

Its just a comparison between two wonderful species.. each totally different and yet sharing some the perks we so cherish..
Long live the bonds amongst.

2006-08-16T02:39:00.000-07:00

The wonders of why

women and dogs..

2006-08-08T23:52:00.000-07:00

what the difference... isnt really the question. Dogs are faithful animals, need a lot of attention and bark a lot.
Women love to cuddle, are cute (more often than not...)... can bite and can make u feel like u own the world.. they need a lot of ur time and ,,,

hmm...why am i writing this..??

Just another movie review...

2006-08-01T00:22:00.000-07:00

is not what i want this to be.. bcos this is not just another movie. Omkaara.. well directed.. acted.. and pretty much perfect in more ways than one.
So, dont hear it from me. See it and decide for urself. And i can assure you, it will not be a disappointment.

2006-07-25T01:52:00.000-07:00

AlbumLeaf... imago

2006-07-19T01:48:00.000-07:00

Jammed to perfection... Pearl it...

crossing borders

2006-07-19T01:39:00.000-07:00

music transcending borders.. and languages.. i guess u 've heard about it all ...

But what astounded me is the trance that one man could (or a small group with music on their minds and on their mouths.. i presume.. )put a whole stadium of individuals to.
The fact that the music was great was fun.. but i can but only imagine what goes through the mind of the person who knows he can make a sea of people dance to his tunes.. and not only literally so.. when he does the same...

music rocks... yayyyyyyyyyyyy

Ever Wonder...

2006-07-15T00:42:00.000-07:00

Why.. the people u love... can hurt u the most..

2006-07-13T23:08:00.000-07:00

The world according 2 someone...

2006-07-13T00:47:00.000-07:00

attitude.. is what its all about... What say?

Waking Life

2006-07-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

The movie. Amen.