What's your mood for the day?

conversation about arguments...

I prefer conversations to arguments. Maybe because i never seem to be able to win any arguments. And frankly, conversations are, more often than not, less taxing on my brain cells. For the longest time, i don't remember having an argument from which i have come out not having a bad feeling in my stomach [or the general vicinity of where it is].

I am not going to go into an analysis of why, because i have been there and it hasn't been any fun nor have i had any luck figuring it out - the result of which, i guess, is that i tend to avoid any argument. I tend to run away, change direction or find a sad confused face in my huge array of expressions to avoid them whenever possible. But there are times when, well there's no running away - the other person really cares or 'needs' to have the 'conversation'.

Those are the tough ones and every now and then one does sneak through my super tough defenses. And thats when it hurts - because there's an ego and a false sense of self defense that's been breached. I try to protect myself and it hurts even more. But thanks to my exceptionally short term memory, the effects do not last long enough for me to remember to make exactly sure not to get into another argument. And so the cycle of conversations continue until another argument surprises [for lack of a better word] me.

its a wonderful world when

theres flan and more..

and no plans to ruin..

and its sunday night and sunday morn..

what lies ahead is still not born..

theres a sleeping friend.. and awake is me..

it sunday night and sunday morn..

a new day is yet to be born..

i shalth wait and see what blows..

personification [a smiley here shall be me.. on a day when time is a lil bit more fair..]

disappearing people

people tend to fade away with time. Isn't it such an irony that a to-die-for friend from a few years ago isn't the same anymore - not because anything has happenned that would change anything between you - but for some physical distance which hinders you from meeting often enough to make memories to remember. The same seems to happen with enemies. If you haven't heard from your arch rival long enough - you tend to lose the bitterness. 

It all comes down to me trying to disprove the saying 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer'. I believe in attaching myself to my friends [I know that doesnt sound right.. but well .. you get it] and detaching myself as far away from my enemies as possible. Fight hard in the moment but in the long run - run far away. 

Take a moment and think of the people whom you haven't talked to in a while but still have memories with, you cherish. Those are the ones to keep. Renew the bonds. Its as simple as picking up your phone and dialing a number. 

fifteen percent tip

It was almost time for lunch. It had been a busy morning. Busy but good. The boss had called him to his office. He had been nervous. It was that day of the year. He had spent most of last year in the office. He had done well. But he was nervous.

He got the promotion. And a raise and a new office. It had been a good morning. And now it was time for lunch. He locked the computer, grabbed his keys and walked out to the parking structure all the while trying to decide between chinese and a sandwich. He got into his car and started the engine. He decided it was worth celebrating. He decided to go to the pricey italian restaurant. He had earned it.

It was a warm sunny day. Perfect for driving with the windows rolled down. He rolled them down. It was two blocks from the restaurant. The light turned red and he slowed down to a stop. 

She could not have been over nine years old and she had a baby in her little hands. She was thin and pale. Almost thinner than the baby who just would not stop crying. She came to the car door with the saddest of faces and thrust the thinnest of hands towards him all the while struggling to handle the crying baby in her other hand. 

It must be one of those schemes to rob people. People like him. kind people. Who would fall for the trap and give away their hard earned money. It was one of those new cars. All automatic. He pushed the button and the windows started rolling up. 

you me and them

I drive away from crashed cars...

I while away.. in crowded bars...

I live a life of silent greed...

I strive night and day .. an ego to feed..

I listen to my music loud..

from the world outside.. thats my shroud..

i think not for you or love..

but vie for what you 've got to give..

I count again every penny cold..

and can think of nothing but gold..

I spend a fortune to cover my naked..

not a second thought.. for the hungry soul..

I look at myself in the mirror ..

and think of the pounds to lose

but not once.. of whats within..

and how much heart i 've still to gain...

I am you my friend.. I am you and me.

rainbows in black and white

distance

He walked to the window and stared at the withering roses in what used to be a garden. He hadn't noticed but it had changed drastically in the past few months. He hadnt noticed. Until now. He had been busy. There had been a lot to take care of. There were the kids to take care of. She had been there for them all along. Now it was his turn to be there. Someone would have said, they are no longer kids. They have kids of their own. But then, someone would not know what she meant to them. What she meant to him. 

It had been their garden. The garden that they spent so much time together in. The garden that they had built together - like everything else they had built together in the last forty five years. He wanted to make sure everything was how she wanted it to be. He took care of everything. Everything except the garden.  

It had been a long 73 days. 73 days, six hours and a little over 30 minutes. He had woken up and was surprised she hadn't. She usually woke him up. He wanted to surprise her. He cleaned up made a spinach omlette, filled up a small glass with OJ and took it to the bed. Wendy, their best friend for ages, found him trying to wake her up about an hour and a half later. 

He found the garden shears along with the other garden stuff and started cutting away. It was past midnight when he stopped. The neighbors had been nice. They knew. The garden was almost clean now. He would have to use the grass cutter in the morning. He did not want to disturb the neighbors with all the noise. They had been nice.

Wendy found him in the garden in the morning. It was all back to how it used to be. No roses yet - but that doesnt take too long. He was lying down in the grass. She walked up to him and heard him sobbing. His cheeks were all red and wet. She felt a tear run down her cheek. 'He will live' she thought 'now that he has cried'.

the unsaid...

woke up a warrior.. broke up a fight..

drove through dull streets of little light..

dreamt up a dragon.. missed the last wagon..

for i 've slept through all that was right.. 

pushes and wishes.. little yellow kisses...

i 've waited on twenty odd misses..

tither.. hither... more i wither..

punch me in the dark... leave me in the park.. 

they will find me now.. out by the lark.. 

i record and play .. what cannot be true...

i record and play... every little hue.. 

voices have faded.. 

flowerOfSan

the supreme - please

omnipotent and omnipresent - is how most religions tend to term 'God'. Now then.. lets see what these words actually mean. 

Omnipresent - being able to be present at all places at the same time. So for someone to be present at multiple places at the same time - their velocity should be infinite. Meaning they should be able to travel from one place to the other in no time at all. Here time is what defines the term omnipresent. Consider a second to be the lowest 'time' period a human being can visually percieve - i think most of us can do better - i believe ~16 times better... but either way lets assume its a second. So as long as someone can get from anywhere to anywhere within this time frame - they can be considered as omnipresent. Now to the naked eye they would be omnipresent - but lets consider we had one of those super slow motion cameras ... would that someone still be considered omnipresent?? So all someone needs to be able to do to become God is break this time barrier. 

Its the same deal with being omnipotent. Time is the culprit. Lets take an example. Only the omnipotent god can split the ocean in two. Now logically speaking - splitting the ocean is taking out the water from a section of area quicker than it takes for the amount of water to get back in. Here again you just need to break that visible time barrier. 

Now coming to the real question. I think it is a plausible thing that there exists extraterrestial life. Consider that there was an alien who could do all the above - would you still be worshipping the alien? Consider that there is one alien who basically is able to control all life on Planet Earth and maybe Planet Earth itself. Would you still be willing to worship this alien considering that this is no more than a science project for the alien who is one among a million others who have planets of their own.

My question, as seems to be always, is what is religion to you? What is God to you? Is it what you need to get some sense of security into your life? Someone powerful who you know will be looking after you and will forgive you for all your sins. Someone more than yourself to look after you - because that's a good feeling always. I have had that while living with my parents for a huge portion of my life. I bet most others did too. But is it worth pretending when you know you have to fend for yourself?

hmm... I should stop writing about religion. I do not want a fatwa issued against me. Afterall i am questioning people's sense of security.

The funny side of it is - For someone who is present everywhere, God's a very elusive guy. I have never run into him on my way to work or in the grocery store. 

aaj ka aasmaan..

kaun sahil ki hai khoj..

kya hai musafir thera bhoj..

rukh ke dekho duniya ke rangg..

dil mein bharlo thoda umang..

kal kaa kyaa... tha koi khwaab..

aaj hai shaamil... jeelo janaab!!

a capsule for religion

religion. The topic of the day. This as always is my take of it and well .. its my blog... ain't it ... 

What religion is - is a way of life. You either got to be really committed to the way of life [principles.. you believe in] to be die hard religious or you must be really submissive or pretty weak-kneed. Now i am not talking about the also-rans here. And there's a huge percentage of them out there. This is about the ones that are 'religious'. And there are the ones that are 'not religious'. Its these two that make or can make a difference. Because its these that the other huge chunk of also-ran's follow.

My thoughts on religion have always been 'whatever makes you sleep well at night'. Its your choice and its fine with me as long as you keep it to yourself and not try to impose the same on someone else. I don't care if you cut your ends or whatever you feel like to be part of what you believe - as long as its yours [and by yours i dont mean philosophically or whatever. Yours means physically or whatever directly is yours] that you cut. I don't plain care. Like i said - 'Whatever makes you feel cosy in your bed'.

So - why i am babbling on .. on religion. Here's why. I was at a church watching a pretty eloborate [and when i say that.. i mean eloborate in all senses of the word] and surprisingly well produced/played.. whatever.. Easter day celebration show of the story of Jesus - which got me thinking. I like the play - not for what it depicted - but for the performances and the organization. Towards the end of it - as part of the show there were a few poeple who came on stage and basically talked about how 'Jesus' had turned their lives around. They had playcards that they displayed. Something like first they would display one side of the card saying 'Addicted to meth' and then they would show the other side saying 'dependent on Jesus'. Another was 'Spent time in Jail' and 'Found Freedom in Jesus'. And i thought - "good for you guys". again like i said - 'Whatever makes you sleep well at night'. For me these are people who found solace in something - and that something happenned to be religion. Thats real good - isn't it? Nothing like a warm blanket when the night's cold. 

We humans are social animals. We don't seem to feel so well alone. There's a few exceptions. But generally - Social animals. We need to have the feeling of belonging to something bigger -a bigger group - which in turn believes in something more powerful - powerful enough to protect us - do anything - everything for us. Something we can leave our worries to. And its all good. But i find it all a bit selfish. Everyone seems to be preaching that religion is all about the greater good of the people. I tend to understand it differently. Selfish. Its about following the 'path of God' to attain salvation. And what is salvation - a chance to spend the after life in paradise. Its like saving up for retirement. Which is something you are doing for yourself. Its not for the good of someone else. Its for yourself. Then why the hypocricy of saying 'Its for the good of all humankind'. 

The question that came to mind is how many of these 'relgious' or 'non-religious' people would give up what they love most - if they had to make the choice for the greater good of humankind. 

example: How many pastors would give up 'christianity' or how many rabbis would give up their faith - if they were given a true option that if they give up their religion no child around the world would ever have to die of hunger ever. Now that's not an impossible thing to do.. but very improbable. But well - what goes- If they were told you can make this happen and they believed that this could be made possible if they gave up their religion - would they do it?

Its like asking me - no more food ever in your life - all you can eat is this tablet every day and that will keep you alive. Its not impossible - i guess if there were such a tablet - and if the bet was sure - I might..hmm... i will do it. But the question is not about me and food. Its about religion and the 'religious'. How many of the one's that preach religion will make this choice. Will the pope give up his faith if he was given this option? 

springOutOfFocus

2Blue

why aren't we nocturnal

Come to think of it, it seems to be appropriate for human beings to be nocturnal. I am not thinking of ages ago when we were prey, and had to hide from the predators of the night in the safety of our caves... whatever. 

It does make sense to turn the day around [or the night.. half full.. half empty.. who cares..]. Consider this for a moment. The proverbial eight to five work life is shifted to eight in the evening to five in the morning. Think of it. Around five or six in the morning is when i feel the sleepiest - specially on those nights that i am awake until around the time. So, its like you come home from work and go to sleep right away. I think thats about the time i am most tired and unwilling to do something. The immediate few hours after i come home from work. And what better to do than to sleep at those times. So considering you fell asleep around 6:30 or 7:00AM and you wake up around 3:00 or 3:30PM. You have roughly five hours of whatever you feel like doing and most of it is daylight time and not too warm and not too cold. Hmm... the perfect four hours before you get ready for work. Interesting?? hmm.. maybe not as much.

I actually wanted to make this feel like you would not be confined to a cube or office during the time when the sun's shining the brightest. The essense of it is, you could do a lot more stuff during the day than in the night. Either its too dark.. or too cold or too 'closed' for anything fun during the night. Sounds like the perfect time for work!

If nothing at all - you wouldnt go out for lunch and see what a wonderful day it is and not feel bad about having to go back to your cube and "work" while all the light is going wasted. It happens too often and you start thinking... hmm.. what if I was nocturnal.. I would have more daylight in my life than what i currently do.

Accountability

I had my taxes done today. I paid more than a third of the money i earned as taxes. Its not a lot when compared to approximately a 4 trillion dollar bailout being paid out to failed [I was going to say 'failing' - but well we had to pay because they failed] companies, but its a lot to me. I could have got out of debt, i could have saved the bit to pay for a house [or a loan to a house] but no. I paid my taxes. And where is this money going? Its not a question. I know the answer. Its going to fund a war i do not believe we should be fighting, Its going to greedy executives and politicians who are usurping a wonderfully huge sum of profit while millions are suffering and ironically

from the suffering of the jobless, hapless millions who have been deprived of the money they were saving for retirement after putting in years of service to the America they 

believed in. Its crazy and the hard part is i cant do a bit to change how things are going.

Everything is done according to the rules/laws. Its obvious - it would be the law because the people entrusted with making the laws are the ones that are feeding off the dying - [for lack of more appropriate words]. And why are they able to do this - because we did not care to question when they were slyly making the rules. Because we did not care to make sure everything that was being put to stone was being thorougly looked into - that the law makers were being watched upon. Why isnt there a limit to the greed and the greedy? because who's stopping when there's no one to stop you. What the hell were the FBI / CBI doing? They are the watch dogs - arent they. There's fraud all over washington. For christ's sake - there's fraud all over the country. Not on main street, not on 1st or 2nd street but on state street. There's no end to how tough it gets - when you are trying to get funding for something meaningful. Some child welfare program - some educational program. For christ's sake they are closing schools because there isn't money to fund them. But well - 4 trillion to dying corporations. No problemo. We will act out a few days of discussions / disagreements / and finally getting together for the good of the nation and passing the freaking bill and we will make sure there's additional clauses to make sure the damn ass rich execs get filthy rich bonuses and deny that we did not know of the existance of the clause because we did not read the freaking bill we were proposing - are you for real DODD? But schools closing, teachers losing their jobs - oh cant spare a penny. We are in an economic crisis you know. Who better to take it out on than the future generations. They arent smart enough yet to question us. 

Ofcourse, we have a war to fight. Dont we? The war against terrorism. Thats very important. And yes, it has to be fought in a country that had nothing to do with the act of terrorism that

we went to war in the first case for. Its just f***ing personal. Thats just it. And yeah, any of you leechers want to make some dough off it. Please help yourself. BlackWater/XE, Raytheon, KBR,

Halliburton, Lockheed Martin, whoever the f*** if you know one bald guy who can talk to the dumbass president, its party time. Eight years and that was all was needed. Eight years ago - Clinton left the white house - impeached. Why? Because he could not keep the zipper on his pants shut. Why? becuase the country was doing way too well financially. He had overcome the hole papa bush had dug us into. There was a fight against terrorism going on then too. But a more subtle one. But no. We needed someone more simple. Someone dumb enough to f*** up. Someone dumb enough, that whoever screwed the country - he would not even know. Actually he would be lifting the skirt off the country's ass and he would not know. The dude was really dumb or he was the perfect scam artist. Either way, he had the americans fooled. Whether it was while he was being fooled is any fools guess. Either way, the effect of whatever f**up he got us into in four years could have been stifled if only. But no. They wanted more. "Fool me once, your bad. Fool me twice, *** " In his own foolish words. 

So along came Katrina. And what did we do. Oh yeah, we saw it. We saw it alright. We saw the people die. We saw several lives destroyed in one way or the other. And then we saw more. 

For days, those people lie in the stadium - starving, dying. Nope. And then came the rescue missions. Another payout to the bald man's bootybaggers. One real funny thing i remember is they hired a few cruise ships - paying 1250$ a room [per week] to house the houseless. The ships lay there - 80% or so empty but being paid for. While all the people there requied was some place to shelter. 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/27/AR2005092701960_pf.html

 And this is just one example. 200+ million dollars. for cruise ships on a rescue mission. That was plain awesome. So on and on came one government muck up after another. And the americans did not say anything significant enough to change anything. Why? because they were not feeling it. No pain seen financially. Because no one cares about the budget here. Budgets pass without a question being asked. Bills get passed without being read. Once passed, and the money is spent - no one takes a look again and sees whether the money spent was done so correctly. There isnt an audit process of sorts - it seems. 

That is what is missing. Accountability. Things once done are done. Forgotten. Why is every bill that is passed not audited? So some bills are written overnight. No one has read it except the 

guy who typed it maybe. Either way, the f***ing rep who is proposing doesnt even know how many pages are in the freaking thing unless he has a line in his speech about it. And the hundreds of elected asses out there. How many of them have had the time to read it. Well you could say, how can you expect someone to have read it overnight. I dont expect that. I want a read through period before the vote. If they are too lazy to read it - keep a hearing session. someone will create an audio copy of the same. There's a job. Create one to revive the economy. I know the bald guy's company will start doing this too and it will cost the american tax payer another 200 million for each of these audio recordings. What with all the training and technology that goes into an audio recording.

So that is what i want. Accountability. I want the executives who passed the laws to explain why the decision was made for each law. I want an explantion of all the bills passed during the last 10 years. I want an explantion of why the country's budget that was in surplus 8 years ago is in shambles right now. I want every tax dollar that was ineptly paid out to greedy asses paid back. There's a stimulus package. Compare current rates to what was charged. Ask why the employee from blackwater guarding food being sent troops in iraq was being paid 180K an year - while the soldier of the same rank in the army made about 1/4th of that. Let the questions flow. Make them answer. I am sure, the bald man has a lot to say. And i want to be able to hear that. Afterall, its treason and nothing less. What would you do to someone taking a bribe. If you caugt a police officer taking a bribe and letting a drug smuggler go - would you treat him the same as some of the gentlemen from washington are being treated. 

There's an effective way to react. Sometimes examples have to be made to make sure some treachery of the same stature is not repeated. Now is the time for examples. And also, the country needs some cash to get out of this mess. Who better to take it from than the ones who stole it from us. Rise and shine people. Time to make the dogs pay for their crimes. They stole from you. They stole from me. They stole from America. And make sure no one in washington is auditing. There's too much of the crap going around. Assign proper investigators. Someone from the schools of education. Someone from the courts of the country. Someone who will make the right choices. Someone who will make them pay. In cash and kind.

apples and oranges

can you hear the sound of my heart breaking...

can you feel the pain of my heart aching...

I just want you to know that we are losing..

the special love that once we held so closely..

I just want you to hold on tightly..

this is us - dont take this lightly [ :) .. comedy within tragedy .. wah wah..]

desh ki naari

ek thi bharath desh ki naari... 

khani thi unko bhel poori...

kal tha kaam koi jaroori...

sochthi aaj hai aayi baari...

oud ke lambhi saari...

kitche mein jaake hath mein li katori..

karke abh poori tayari...

aakhir mein dali usme patthi hari...

[to be continued... ]

sabh kuch mana hai...

kya yaar... sabh kuch mana hai???
bottle bhar peena mana hai...
jee bhar sona mana hai...
pet bhar khana mana hai...
dil bhar dekhna mana hai... [u know what... don't u?]

raath bhar jaagna mana hai...
very late utna mana hai...
brush bina coffee mana hai..
nahaye bina breakfast mana hai...

office naa jaana mana hai..
gayatho udhar sona mana hai...
chote chote tea break mana hai...
dosthon se baathe mana hai...

login hua tho IM mana hai...
cricket score dekhna mana hai..
jaldi office se nikhalna mana hai...
ghar late aana mana hai...

beech mei ek dho beer mana hai...
ghar aaya tho tv mana hai...
monday tuesday chicken mana hai...
thurday tho poora khana mana hai...

kya yaar... sabh kuch mana hai???

paida hua tho rona mana hai...
classroom mein bolna mana hai..
baahar jaa ke khelna mana hai...
dosthon ke saath masthi mana hai...

high school aaya .. phir bhi peena mana hai..
do nahi tho... ek sahi..girlfriend mana hai..
balcony mein study mana hai...
baaju vali ladki ko ishaarein mana hai..

entrance exams do saal baad hai.. phir bhi aaj khelna mana hai..
are computers padane ke liye.. architecture mana hai..
phir bhi college jane ke liye bike mana hai...
chalo.. chodo.. bus mein gaya tho.. foot boarding mana hai..

combined study with friends [;)] .. mana hai...
phone pe baath karna bhi mana hai...
unke saath trips jaana manaa hai...
gaya tho phir paise waste karna mana hai..


are yaar... mana kar ke kar ke... kya bana diye hume..
padaa padaa ke.. ullu bana diya yaar.. :)

inspiration run

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLnDwLmVIyY

bachein hai hum baarish mein
bheegein hai.. par na dil se...
kuch karne ki khayish hai..
bhatke hai par, kuch ban ne ki saazish mein..
aaon dosthon haath badao..
milke ek tho jyoth jalao..
chota hai ye..par dil na haaro..
ek ek karke.. banthe hai laakhon..

chocolate dreams....

lost and to be found:

a reason.. an answer to my sleepless nights.. something that 'll tell me - bud, this is what you are.. what you are doing.. and where you are going..
I have searched and obviously in vain.. maybe i am asking the wrong questions.. maybe i am looking in the wrong places.. maybe i shouldnt be.. hmm.. all i get is more questions.. more to add to a list i do not want to revisit from the fear of exhaustion - the fear of losing myself in the depth of my ignorance.. [this must be an oxymoron]..
troubled.. maybe not.. but getting there.. I find no respite.. no satisfaction.. work is but a mundane activity.. but so is life.. actually its not always so.. there are moments.. moments that make up my entire day.. is it worth my entire day for those moments.. maybe so..
There's something about me i haven't been able to understand.. something that lurks.. in there.. It appears dark to me at times.. but maybe so because i haven't figured it out yet..

Life - as i have lived it - will not be be aptly presumed.. by many and maybe rightly so.. but then again I do not regret and maybe rightly so too.. maybe today is a lie... for a happier tomorrow.. maybe yesterday was one .. but then.. when the tomorrow comes will it be worth it..

questions all.. but sometimes again i am normal.. very normal ... i dream of a million and more.. ['dream of ' actually means wish for ] i wish for that fancy car.. fancy house and self employment.. or the not having the need for it... normal all .. and not aptly normal.

Am i searching.. when i should not be.. well.. freedom dictates the search for itself.. freedom from questions.. I crave a day when i know exactly what i want to do for the whole 24 hours.. the whole enchilada as they say... i crave for that morning when i wake up and know.. i am going to do what i want to and know i want to .... its poison.. slow as chocolate and equally enticing.....

kuch hai aise geet.. jo gaa kar gham bhula dethe hai log..
kuch hai aise pal.. jo paa kar... duniya bhuladethe hai log..
kuch hai aise lamhe.. jo insaan ko badal dethe hai..

kuch paa kar kuch khona.. kuch kho kar kuch paana..
sunn pyaare... isi ka naam hai jeena...

more from the same...

7:40 am - almost an ode... A long time ago..
when the grass looked green...
and the world... i had not seen..
i has no cares on my mind...
and no shackles to unwind...

A long time ago..
when i had a different hue to my voice..
when i had the luxury of choice...
i took the path untrodden...
hoping for my horizons to broaden...

a long time.. sure.. it has been...
and a lot, since have i seen...
and the question irks me yet...
on a differnet road... would we still have met...

for you are what keeps me afloat..
when nothin remains of my haute..

to b continued..... am too sleepy,.. tired... hmm.. and the excuses.. flow on...

almost a poem...

I went back to see my old blogs.. couldn't leave this there to be deleted... so here it is... almost a poem...

i came here for silence.. i came here for peace.. i have spent last evening here.. and many before .. i feel at home here.. i feel supreme here... the sea unfurls underneath.. and expands around my stony sheath.. i fear not its rumbling waves... i fear not its incessant raves... my rock stands steadfast... unwavering to the mighty haste.. i wait here until the red one recedes.. and its color the ocean bleeds.. i remember the first time i was here... i remember my consummating fear.. i had hoped for respite.. i had hoped i did not have to fight.. how i wanted the waves to win.. how i wanted the world not to hear me whine.. i had come here to die.. i had hoped no more to lie.. but my rock stood its ground... ever since to it i have been bound.. it has taught me life's little art... it has given me a new start... i have learnt to stand and fight even when the tunnel end has no light for there's something on which i can rely through life's low and high... my little rock will stand still and deny the ocean's will...

pal bhai jeena..

deleted due to hindi weakness...

Nothing.........

Life as the M

*************


deleted for dumbness...

- KGB

a face behind another...

And then each chose a mask to hide behind.. Mine never felt to fit all that well.. clumsy at best.. but well .. a mask's a mask and once chosen there isnt a replacement.. maybe a slight adjustment.. but not a replacement. So, behind this mask i hide.. like the one before ..the one behind and the lot..

The mask's been around.. served its purpose well so far.. people seem to accept it.. for what its worth.. its deficiencies.. its whatever.. people believed the mask was me... Only a few were allowed to see beyond.. the few whose masks i tried to look beyond just to keep the deal fair enough... or so i thought...

But then at times, the mask seems to take over.. like there isnt anything beneath [or behind ... whatever suits you.. ] like the one behind the mask wasnt all that different.. like the one in the mirror was the same as the one without the mask on.. interesting huh? And then as i try to peel away.. the pain is immense .. like pulling out a part of myself.. like tearing off a limb..

The question haunts me... do i need the pain??.. why look within trying to find a face when the mask is the perfect replacement.. when no one seems to notice.. [not even myself at times..]
Why do i need to bleed... hmm .. which face is this i see in the mirror now? Is it me?

Rowling fame..

And then it ended.. almost too quickly.. and the dark lord lay there... dead to the ones around.. dead to the ones that read on... seven long books later all it took was a harmless "Expelliarmus". Simple and sweet, aint it!

And then nineteen years went by and i was almost reading something out of a soap drama of sorts. And it all ended with saying that the scar did not burn in nineteen years.. as if it was all about him.. the dark one.

Glad its over. Dissappointed??... hmm.. not really..

you get attached to things you have been doing for a while.. reminds me of the eleven year old watch on this dude... he told me he hated it for having worn it everyday.. for as long as he had had it... but the romance of if it all was that he wore it for the girl who had given it to him.. eleven long years ago...
romantic ..huh? crap.

There used to be a me ..not so long ago..or so i think.. who would have gone wow on that.. but that me is lying somewhere... dead.. maybe buried next to riddle boy..
You know what.. i am kind of liking Rowling.. hmm.. more like the way i am a fan of Indian Ocean.. I love indian ocean.. more for the purity of music and the insanity of their passion for it than their music itself.. here... more for the kids + kids aged over 20 who stood for hours at end outside barnes and nobles and the kind.. than for the words that make the books itself...

hmm.. been pretty bland.. off we go...

Two's a pair

PlayTime

Batman Returns...

midnight Owls

No. not those OWLs. I have been reading 'arry Potter, but not enough to be thinking of OWLs yet. No not the flying ones, and certainly not those on paper. Now, I 've almost forgotten what i 've wanted to write about. well. I forgot totally.

While we are at it, lets talk Euthenasia. Sarika says she's all for it. Am I? Its relative, isn't it. Whats true for one or more is not so for another or more. I think abortion, Euthenasia etc. are case by case based. Hmm.. abortion. that i would say, is a mother's choice. Hmm.. not totally though. I agree with it's her choice until about 6 months into pregnancy [Now we get technical - is 6 months and 1 day a lot different that 6 months. Nope.] The time is where the problem arises as to the discussion. When do you deem a baby [I was going to say fetus.. but well] a baby? Why 6 months?

Either way, I am all against rules. No rule, no war, no progress, no humanity. Hmm.. and why do we have to connect humanity with progress. Does not having any scientific progress make us less human? huh... now I am sleepy. I gotta sleep.

BTW, that's a misnomer. Its early morning, isn't it? Its too early in the morning and too late in my life to be asking these questions. The real question is are these valid questions? Do i really need to worry? Will I have an impact on anything at all? Now actually, thats supposed to be a plural, because as i count - thats more than one question.

wake up, wake up sunshine

A philosopher died. Another woke up half way through a dream and spoke of bountiful gardens, un -reachable all.. [maybe the reason why they were so].. but bountiful still. He realized not that sleep was a transition, something that did not define itself by its longevity, but by its persistence [maybe with a 'c' - the spellcheck works]. Continuation of what you did not intend is maybe persistence, but not the persistence that defines sleep. Sleep is essential. I am deprived of the essential. But not without my own interference. I could have but did not. Now the questions linger. But, could the questions be all that keep me awake? And thats another question. isn't it? [count++]

If you think, I 've gone crazy, you are not completely off track. Insomnia does things to you. Self induced insomnia does more. I wanted to say, i woke up but if you havent slept, could you wake up? I guess, you could say you woke up but, you really did not wake up.

Interestingly sanity is persistence too. Persistence to norms. And norms are human defined. So sanity is relative, because norms are. I want to look into the minds of people, see what they think. No, I do not want to know what's personal to them. But the thought process is what intrigues me. What happens in the sad electric/magnetic/'wish i knew what i was talking about' field that controls/is your thought process is what makes mine go haywire. Science??

'some tuesday evening, at 4 pm' [baz lehurmann] the truth will blind me. I am, aged as i am, supposed to be mature. Responsible for my actions and in them too. Another norm.

Wake up, wake up. Wake up sunshine. A glass of wine.. hmm.. might take me there. nighty night.

Life's best stories...r better left untold.....

 

So True... 

half complete.. the oxymoron 

salty cheeks.... 

Its a matter of.... 

Stand out... 

nothing personal... i guess.. 

there r layers to life.. i presume 

Clarification

No insult directed and hopefully none taken in regards to my dogs and women post.

Its just a comparison between two wonderful species.. each totally different and yet sharing some the perks we so cherish..
Long live the bonds amongst.

The wonders of why 

women and dogs..

what the difference... isnt really the question. Dogs are faithful animals, need a lot of attention and bark a lot.
Women love to cuddle, are cute (more often than not...)... can bite and can make u feel like u own the world.. they need a lot of ur time and ,,,

hmm...why am i writing this..??

Just another movie review...

is not what i want this to be.. bcos this is not just another movie. Omkaara.. well directed.. acted.. and pretty much perfect in more ways than one.
So, dont hear it from me. See it and decide for urself. And i can assure you, it will not be a disappointment.

AlbumLeaf... imago 

Jammed to perfection... Pearl it... 

crossing borders

music transcending borders.. and languages.. i guess u 've heard about it all ...

But what astounded me is the trance that one man could (or a small group with music on their minds and on their mouths.. i presume.. )put a whole stadium of individuals to.
The fact that the music was great was fun.. but i can but only imagine what goes through the mind of the person who knows he can make a sea of people dance to his tunes.. and not only literally so.. when he does the same...


music rocks... yayyyyyyyyyyyy

Ever Wonder...

Why.. the people u love... can hurt u the most..

The world according 2 someone...

attitude.. is what its all about... What say? 

Waking Life

The movie. Amen.

Words that matter

There are certain words, i'd prefer not to be associated with. selfish being one of them.
According to me, there are two kinds of people. One that tries to like everybody, and those that are strongly opinionated. I believe, i belong to the second kind. More often than not, i have an opinion about things. And one of them is my hate for selfishness and greed. And, so it is that it hurt me to be called selfish. I dont know if i really am. Maybe, i am about a few things. But, maybe not.
Atleast, there's something good thats come out of it - That, i think before doing anything if i am being selfish in what i am about to do. I guess, it helps me make a better decision.

Boring, Boring.

nobody reads...

... my posts :((

ponder.. ponder 

something about the night..

Are you a morning person?? hmm.. not me.. I am ur typical night owl.. just cant sleep..

For me, there's something about the nights..
something dark ... something ghoulish.. yet.. there's still the promise of the morning light. hmm.. lets not get all optimistic about this now.. because, beyond everything else .. late things are something i can ill afford. More often than not, late nights end up burning down my day... and the night after..
Well.. life aint sweet ... so things do catch up.. and u know what.. I should be sleeping now.. I 've got work to do tomorrow..
another pointless post.. i must have just posted an image.. hmm...

take the time to........ 

the vagaries

There are those who dont mind fading away into oblivion
and then there are those who will fight unto death.. just to be one of those who will be remembered.

Whether its the fight you will be remembered for or what you fought for, is insignificant. The ones that fight are the ones that make a difference.

where do u belong?

Copied from a cat........

I am thinking about - V & Me.
I said - wake up and smell the flowers.
I want to - eat some of them.
I wish - I could turn back time.
I miss - my bike.
I hear - the wind in the leaves.
I wonder - why i am not asleep.
I regret - four years lost.
I am - a self proclaimed 'hopeless'(wonder why) romantic.
I dance - as if my shoe lace were interwined.
I sing - alone.
I cry - and say i never did.
I am not always - evil.
I make with my hands - nature's best juice... Orange, i.e.
I write - crap.
I confuse - gin with rum.
I need - peace of mind and a plan to get there.
I should try - thinking.
I finish - everything i order and if there's anything else left.

Tag... hmm.. what's this

if u 've read it.. u know where ;)

Adam went to god and asked 'God, why did u make eve so beautiful?'
God replied 'So that u can love her.'

Adam: 'Then, why did u make her so dumb?'
God: 'So she can love u'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moral of the story:??

Darna zharoori hain :)

husn ke naam toote hain baadshah'
husn ke naam loote hain jahaan
husn se thu zhara dharna..
husn se yaar.. zhara sambhalna..

husn mein hain ithni zor
ek jhalak se tujhe jhukadhe
husn hain ithni kathor'
ek pal mein tujhe mitadhe...

haseen hain woh ek pal...
kardhe tera jeena durbhal..
mere bhai.. husn pe naa karo kurbhan..
pyaara hain sabhse.. tera jaan

Peace... at last 

!hate 

'eXtacy' Picturized