to capture...

a moment and to capture it in its entirety is art. There are tools which can accomplish this - if used skillfully and what not..
I have been thinking .. searching.. trying to find reasons/finances/and a good deal to get myself a digital SLR. It is quite an investment and i am not sure i will be able to do justice to what i put in. Which is why the delay in decision. I have cameras - and quite a few of them - three iphones [i know.. but i take more pictures than i make phone calls], a sony slim camera [the trendy ones that can go in a shirt pocket], a panasonic dvd camcoder, a handheld panasonic waterproof [you heard me right.. this thing works fine under upto 5 feet of water.. tested and confirmed] handheld camcoder, a regular reel camera [i still have one.. even though i don't think i 've used it in more than 6 years] and an olympus [12x zoom 6mp]. I have a few other cellphones i don't use anymore .. [hmm.. thats for another post anyways] but lets not count those.
Now considering all this.. i shouldn't. But then - i consider myself to be pretty decent at figuring out what makes a good snap [:)] and having used a friend's dslr [nikon d40] for a few months - and now that its that friday of the year time... the desire to own one has found some fuel. I am looking at the d90's and guess will need to invest/burn as much on the glass [pro term for lenses :)] as on the camera body bringing the amount very close to 1500$.
Now.. this isn't making it easier. The article i was reading earlier said make a pros/cons list. Might as well.

Pros
-----
- could get very good at it :) i definitely seem to have the desire
- better alternative to aimlessly surfing the web
- bragging rights
- awesome pictures

Cons
-----
- bulky
- might lose interest in a few months and then??
- big investment and it's not a one time investment.. glass costs a fortune.. and the more serious you get.. the more its going to cost
- the economy isn't getting any better
- don't know how to evaluate 2nd hand options.. basically can't tell the difference between the good and the not-so
hmm.. this seems to be adding up..

back to square uno. darn them D90s.

and life goes on...

Days like today make me realize the insignificance of my existence. Days where i wake up to hear someone's world break up with the loss of a dear one.. Days, I know, I will not remember as long as the ones who lost their all... Days .. i wish.. would not have happened but can't do a darn thing about... Days.. i know..  will just go on  as if nothing has changed.. at least nothing significant has.

The pain passed through.. and away.. way too quickly. In another world, the pain would have stayed - i would have done something as simple as go to the person who is in pain and lend a shoulder. But this is not my world.. I am back at work within an hour. Back into the grind that dictates who i am and what i do. And I realize, who i am and what i do is so insignificant that it will not make a significant difference if i am not here tomorrow. And what am I giving up for such an insignificant thing is what makes me wonder.. what the #*%$ am i doing here.

I, like many around me, have made mine a life where whatever happens, I still do what i would have done if it hadn't happened. And then i realize - life in general is like that. It will go on .. and you can't do a darn thing about it. As far as yours and mine are concerned, the best we can do is make the most of what we have today and try to do something that will make it better - for the ones who care about us. Because, tomorrow's sun is a certainty, but only for what goes around. Not for you or me.

In words i remember 'I am sorry for the one who's gone. But i am worried for the one's who live on.'